[DespondentDaisy]

I've come to the realization that while I care a good deal for my boyfriend and he loves me a lot, it's not working out. I've been going back and forth with it in my head for several months now. Besides having differing morality and ethics issues and politics, he just doesn't GET me how I would like him too. I'm more of a writer and thinker, he's more of a mover and shaker. He likes to drink more than I like and gamble (at times). Granted he's not violent or mean, we end up having arguments over nothing or about things that make no sense. And then I always am the one doing the chores no matter how much I talk to him about it. And he's working so much, many different hours (restaurant) I don't see that much of him lately. He watches a lot of the same shows as I do (also a lot of wrestling and such), but he also JUST watches tv. Nothing other than that and work and drinking or hanging out with friends from time to time, drinking. Sure, we catch the occasional movie, but rarely- we barely have us time- like moving ships in the night sometimes is how I feel.
I would like to be able to go to museums and poetry readings and hikes and all these things that either he has no time for or wouldn’t want to do. He is healthy and in shape, but he talks about wanting to have kids and I just feel it in my gut that he's not right for me. I don't want to hurt him, he has no real clue I'm thinking like this. Though I did try and start talking to him about how I am unhappy in the relationship a couple weeks ago and he quickly apologized and kissed me and changed the subject(I had gotten overly upset about a small thing and apologized and used it as a segway to talk about things).
Ugh! It's less than 3 years that we've been dating (shy a few months) and I think back to how he moved in with me within a month of dating and I should have said no. It was too quick. But I fell for him hard. And he was there for me to urge me to quit smoking weed when I had no real willpower or want to -
Now it's the best thing I could've done, And I have him to thanks for that- Now I can start to get my life back on track, stop always wallowing in my own misery and smoke away my pain and my brain- so I feel extra bad in that respect, but if I kept it up I probably wouldn't have realized that he wasn't right for me anyways because I would think no one else would have more of something as pathetic(improving my self esteem slowly- healing finally from all my past hurts).
And now I don't know how to start approach the subject. To make matters worse, a lot of his friends I still work with (that's how I met him but he doesn't work with me anymore), so that'll be awkward but I know this is for the best. I had trouble sleeping last night because I kept waking up, consumed with thoughts about how to approach this. He had come home drunk again- upset about work but excited about all this new opportunity and we argued over some dumb thing and it just solidified for me finally how much he doesn't get me and that things are slowly falling apart.
I already talked to my mom a bit today after work, and a neighbor friend is stopping by later for a glass of wine and support/advice- I'm going to look online for more tips, I'd be happy to hear some thoughts on how to go about this. Thanks.

[StrawberryFieldsss]

Do you know if he has somewhere that he can go immediately? If he does, I would simply ask him to move out. If you think he will react oddly, then I would have someone there for moral support when you ask him. Give him a reasonable time frame and stick to it.

[DespondentDaisy]

Yeah, That's what my friend said- I don't know if he has a place to go immediately, I'm going to wait a few more days maybe to wrap my head around how to go about this- otherwise I know I'll just blurt it out or do something other off putting that won't be pleasant.

[PityPartyof1]

Tell him you need your place to yourself and allow yourself personal time to make a decision. Give yourself one week. If he has no where to go, give him the place for one week, either way you need some space. You can't make a decision with a clear mind if he's right next to you, every second.