[Lyzzyy]

My ex and I were together for about four and a half years. We met, dated for a year, moved in together and lived together for two years and a half, and then I broke up with her because I felt like I was not happy. We stayed best friends for about a year or so after breaking up, and we were pretty much having a relationship without having one (no physical contact after we broke up). We were always together, would do everything together, had the same friends... Everywhere I would go she would go with me, she would ask me to stay over at her house, would talk to me all day, text me saying that she missed me or that she was thinking of me, and so on. I was happy like that, but we were just friends.

After a year of this, I realized I was still in love with her and I was planning on telling her by the beginning of next year, on her birthday. But from one day to the next, she changed... didn't want to hang out any more, stopped talking to me like she used to, nearly stopped texting me. I discovered through facebook that she was talking to someone. At first she said they were just friends, they met online and hadn't even met in person. Now they have been dating for about a month, they kissed the first time they met in person and she seems to be really into her as she slowly put me and everything we had aside. She doesn't seem to care about her so called best friend (me) any more, she stopped talking to most of her friends, she totally changed.

When I found out she was talking to someone else I told her I still had feelings for her... I begged, I cried, she didn't care. Now after a month and a half that I found out she was talking to this lady (who is 9 yrs older than me, 7 yrs older than her), I still have hope that she will realize that we could have a great future together and that she will come back. I don't know whether to hold on to that hope or try to move on. We have a trip planned to DC in February (it was already planned before all of this happened) and I don't know how that's going to go. Has anyone been in a similar situation? should I move on or give her space and then try to get her back? I need some advice, PLEASE! I am hurting like never before knowing that she is with someone else and that she changed everything we had for someone she just met.

[lido78]

Maybe you should tell her why this time is different than before. I'm sure she's convinced that you only want her back because she's moved on and is less available to you. Obviously, you can't promiser her anything (there are no guarantees in life) but maybe communicate something to her about how and why you suddenly realized you were still in love with her again. Please realize that she didn't change everything you had for someone else...you broke up with her (not the other way around)...she simply moved on after a year of telling you that she missed you. To me, it just sounds like you want what you can't have but, to get her back, you'll probably have to convince her that this is not true and that you honestly do love her. But, do not even go down this road if you're just reacting to her moving on....that would be incredibly selfish and you'd only end up breaking her heart again and I can't imagine any friendship could be salvaged from round two.