Why don't i interest him any more...

He says he loves me. I love him so so much. He tells me how he thinks I'm so amazing and that he wants to be with me forever and all this stuff. He has helped me so so so much with my depression, he is always undertanding. I went through a while where I was like I'm not in the mood and I was okay, he understood even though I felt guilty. But now nomatter what I do we never have sex anymore. People say I'm being stupid, because they know he wants to marry me and how I'm everything to him, so I shouldn't be worried. But I'm like, if that's the case why won't he have sex even when I want to. I mean he knows that I'm not constantly depressed and that I will be in the mood sometimes, but it's like he thinks I never am. Nothing I do changes it. Does he find me unattractive now or something? I don't no what I did but it's been months! What 20 year old man doesn't want to have sex for months!!? But I just don't want to cause an unneccessary fuss if there genuinely is nothing to worry about, but I just wish I knew why I suddenly seem to not interest him any more! Should I be worried that he's "gone off me"?

I think that this is something that you really need to talk to him about. It isnt something that would be considered an "unnecessary fuss" but something that is something to be "genuinely worried" about. Sex is a key component to any intimate relationship. If it is something he is now withholding, it is important that you know the reasons why. He may be doing it because he feels he doesnt want to pressure you and the times that you do want it, you may not be clearly communicating that and signals are just getting crossed. There could be any number of reasons. But until somebody is brave enough to talk about it, its just going to keep stewing on the back burner with both of you possibly questioning what is going on.

you should never assume. be upfront and explain your feelings and what are his. why is it that your sexual activity decreased. ask questions communicate and understand each other

I feel really offended and hurt when I perceive my husband as brushing me off, but really I'm just not clear enough to him about my intentions. I will assume that if I kiss him a certain way, he'll know I'm in the mood. And then I'll get upset when I'm not in the mood and kiss him, and he thinks I'm all go! It's all just communication, and I think that could be your case too. Men aren't mind readers!

If you can't stand the thought of being straightforward and saying "I want sex, now!" (which totally ruins the mood, I know) then try being blatant in other ways. Have candles burning and a sexy little nightgown on when he comes home, or take dirty pictures and text them to his phone, tell him you're waiting for him, etc. He'll get the picture and be more than willing to step up to the plate.

I'm a little curious about some things... I saw in another post that you're only 16 and that you desperately wanted a baby (not sure if you still do). Perhaps your boyfriend caught wind of this, and simply doesn't want to take the risk? Or did something else recently happen in his life that makes him think waiting for sex right now might be beneficial? Maybe a friend or family member had a pregnancy scare? It could also be that you're getting really into the school year, and maybe classes are getting harder and he's becoming more stressed about that? Or maybe some of the excitement of sex has worn off a little for him? I know that last one sounds a little weird, but my fiance was never into sex when he was 16 -- his girlfriend at the time pretty much forced it on him and he did it because he didn't really know how to say no. My fiance and I didn't actually do it until we were 22, and I was waiting for him to be ready! Every guy is different. Or maybe he's just more worried about getting caught if you two have to do it at one of your parents' homes? It could also be that someone got on his case about being with someone so young, and now he's scared to be intimate...

If I were you, I would first make sure you're taking birth control (at the same time every day) and have some sort of backup protection as well. If he's worried about you getting pregnant, then this should help alleviate his fears. Second, I would have a conversation with him about communicating with each other. It could be quite simply that he's not picking up what you're laying down. I think some of the suggestions that others have made (and that I made in the post I deleted) aren't exactly workable for you at your age. Personally, I wouldn't send sexy texts at your age because everyone still has a lot of growing up to do and you never know what might happen (not to mention, someone could pick up his phone and he could get in BIG trouble).

I also wonder if maybe you should have a frank talk about your ages with each other. See if that is coming out in his actions at all. Also, maybe you should consider waiting a few more years before having sex. At the very least, it might help if he's worried about any legal ramifications that could come about if anyone finds out.

I hope this didn't come off as mean or offensive. I'm just kind of worried about you. I don't expect you to break up with your boyfriend or stop sleeping with him forever, but I think, because of your ages, you two need to be very, very careful. I do understand the negative feelings that come with feeling rejected, and I think that maybe talking to a therapist would be helpful. Helpful to talk both about wanting a baby and about the issues of feeling rejected when there are probably a lot of other things at play in this relationship.

Best wishes

Oooh Jess, I didn't know how young you are! Isn't it somewhat illegal for him to be with you sexually anyways? Maybe that's a little discouraging for him?

if he has a job, maybe work is stressful, or maybe his family is driving him crazy.
whatever it is, you need to talk to him about it.
keep us posted

You should be upfront and talk with him also make sure you are "talking" not fussing with him...so you can get some answers....