[ocd5mom]

December 13th, tomorrow, is a day that will always be both a godsent date, and a deathnail date, for me. It is the day my divorce was finalized. I was so relieved because my ex-husband hadn't contested anything and I didn't have to worry about him contaminating my daughter with his bitterness, and hatred for life in general. I was relieved because I was out of an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship that was seeping into my daughter's life as well. So, for the last 4 years I have simply existed and focused on taking care of my beautiful and brililant little girl while going to, and completing, my bachelor's degree and trying to survive without leaning and depending too heavily on my family. Now, I feel ready to move forward even furthur. I watch my sisiters, and my brother with their respective partners and I realize that I miss that closeness....that partnership and having someone that is there for you when you need a shoulder....the only problem is that every man that has been interested is generally interested in sleeping with me because they think a single mom equals an easy lay because I must be so lonely and depressed for companionship that I'll take whatever I can get, or they aren't interested in anything beyond that because they are afraid that I'll want them to immediately marry me and become a new daddy for my baby girl....that is not the case, either case actually. BUt the problem is that now that I am starting to put myself out there more, how do I go about it? I don't want to introduce new people into my daughter's life without testing them out, but how do I do that? I feel a bit out of my element, which is uncomfortable in itself....I rarely don't know where I'm going or what to do in order to handle a certain situation....any advice from anyone who has been here would be great....thanks

[lad007]

I have been there, you are not alone. I know that you seek companionship, but give yourself time to heal from the hurt. I used to look at others and what they have, and feel incomplete.
You are strong enough to leave a partner that was not right for you, that is a lot.
Take it very slow, and if you want to play a little do it!
Wait until you feel that it is serious until you bring your daughter into it. Have a little fun, you deserve it. You are an adult and enjoy your dates.
It took me almost 10 years to readjust and find the right partner and my daughter and I lived alone together, then I found the right person, and remarried, and am super happy it can happen. Hang in.

[ocd5mom]

I was alone a lot longer than i knew, even before he left us....I have been very happy on our own for the last few years....and I won't let anyone near her until we are both ready, but I miss the companionship of having someone I guess and I hate that so many men seem to think that just because I have a kid means that I am easy or needing to replace her parent....I don't know, but today has been a day of reflection for me, as it always is...I hurt more for my daughter's loss than mine...