[the village]

Hello,

My boyfriend and I been together for 8 years. I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him.

Well about 2 years ago he cheated on me with a friend of ours but he worked with her. We had a brief break up over it but we are back together now and are very happy.

Now he wants to be able to see her daughter because he became close you her and I aslo miss her.

Should I be alright on him seeing her? Should I worry about him cheating on me with this girl again?

[lexie86]

There is something seriously OFF about this! And i personally think you should be a little concerned.
The fact that you are posting on here suggests to me that you already are concerned.
If it was his child then obviously it would be different, but she is not and this child does not need some guy coming in and out of her life who used her mother and then left her.

I am not buying the whole missing her daughter thing i have feeling that the OW is also included in this scenario, im am not saying that he means to do anything, but i know children are beautiful and they create quite an impresssion on our lives but she is apart of her mother if that makes sence so in away missing the child may in a sense be a crouch for missing the mother as well.

However, he may have no affection for the OW and just miss the daughter, but it is not fair on the little girl in this scenario and your partner should just stay away from her as it will just confuse her. If he truey cares for this child then it is best for him not to be in her life, as it will just cause conflict in yours and his relationship and send the child mixed messages, and he will probably just end up dropping out of her life again and she will only suffer like she did before when he left.
He needs to think long and hard about his choices, he already broke this little girls heart once, and probably the mothers and YOURS as well and enough is enough.

Some times we think were happy and we believe what the other person is saying, but some times they LIE.

Just look after yourself.

[Leed]

I'm not sure I believe this either. Are you SURE this little girl isn't his? Just because he says she's not doesn't mean that it's true. I don't understand why a guy would be so "attached" to someone else's child.

Perhaps it's all completely innocent. But I couldn't help but wonder.

Best of luck & God bless. Hugs, Lee

I concur with all of the above. Don't make excuses for him. There shouldn't be any contact with this woman, period. Surely there are other cute kids out there, including possibly, your own? If you see yourself spending the rest of your life with him, I would sit down pronto and make sure he satisfies your concerns about fidelity. Infidelity almost invariably means that a person is not happy in their relationship. I have been lucky in my own life to not experience it but I know that I would immediately end a relationship if my partner was cheating on me; knowing full well that I would be resentful and distrustful for a long time and that this would ultimately poison the relationship, I would not make any attempts to hold on to her, as painful as that would be. What makes this easy is the fact that I don't subscribe to the notion that there is "one" person out there for us. Rather, that there are plenty of perfectly qualified fish in the sea.

[Irreplaceable]

It's possible that the child can be his...Either way it goes, there is no way in the world I would go for this..