[EverythingCanWait]

I guess relationships can count as this...
My parents basically did all the Christmas decorations, but every year it's my brother and I's job. So to walk downstairs and find my mother putting on the last decoration hurt. I'm not going to lie. She then asked me if I wanted to help. I just told her 'I'd mess it up, it looks too pretty' and walked away.
I hate how I'm not close to anyone in my family, it's like living with roommates they are there all the time but never really talk. I suppose it's a good thing for when I move out to university but I would much rather have a family environment.
I can feel the Christmas blue kicking in again. I thought they went away but apparently not.

[Leed]

Have you tried having conversations with your Mom & family members? Sometimes it's just too easy to walk away, when we should be putting some effort into it. We can't always wait for someone else to start talking --- sometimes We have to start the conversation.

Maybe give Mom a hug once in awhile, if you're so inclined. Maybe she thinks YOU don't want to talk, etc. Sounds like a lack of communication. It's worth a try -- maybe YOU could be the one to make things start to improve.

God bless & I wish you the best. Hugs, Lee

[Perna]

The one thing I wish I could do over at your age was working harder at interacting with my family, especially my stepmother.

She then asked me if I wanted to help. I just told her 'I'd mess it up, it looks too pretty' and walked away.

I had a similar situation I discussed in therapy for a zillion years (took me that long to understand it :-) and my therapist pointed out that "Would you like to help?" is a conversation starter! You mother was doing her best (just because she is an adult doesn't mean she has learned how to converse with others any better than you have!) to engage you but leave you free to not want to be engaged. Maybe she has put herself out in the past trying to start a conversation with you and you have seemed to blow her off like this time? That can hurt another, even a mother/adult! Even if you had been honest and told her you thought you and your brother were supposed to be doing the tree and felt your mother had pre-empted your job, it would have been a conversation and you might have gotten much further in understanding your mother and she, you! She could have explained why she was doing it (you and your brother hadn't shown up to do it and it needed to be done, she thought you were not interested, you hadn't said anything about it) or she could have apologized and been truly sorry or could have told you she was worried about something and decorating the tree, doing something with her hands made her feel calmer or more normal; you can't know now what could have been!

Relationships take practice and being together and doing things together. Walking away just hurts you, you don't get that practice and opportunities and have to try to fit them in later, when it is harder because there aren't as many people "around" to practice with.

[roads]

Even if you think you've tried & tried & it's no use, I'm chiming in as #3 to say make an effort/another effort/a greater effort at connecting with your mom. As Perna said, moms don't always get it right either.

When I got older & my mom & I became friends, we were both amazed looking back in our "I thought you thought... ""No, no, I thought YOU thought... " conversations. Most of the time we both got it wrong. At least we talked later, but then would have been unbelievable! Give it a try.

[EverythingCanWait]

I'm a little scared to talk to her, for instance last night I couldn't sleep so I went down stairs and curled up in a ball on the sofa and she came in and tried to talk to me. She works in mental health so I'm scared that she'll just see right through me and not want to talk about it...
It's hard to start a conversation.