[Neurontin]

I feel like a lost case when it comes to relationships with others. I think thats why Ive always been so introverted...At one time I was more risk taking...But throught the years I just got fed up with people...ie..friends and family, but mainly myself....I know how to make friends Im just not sure how to maintain them...CONFLICT....I think thats why....I even gave up on message boards and chat rooms....I just dont know how to deal with my extreme moods... Thanks, Peter

[Neurontin]

Originally Posted by Neurontin

I feel like a lost case when it comes to relationships with others. I think thats why Ive always been so introverted...At one time I was more risk taking...But throught the years I just got fed up with people...ie..friends and family, but mainly myself....I know how to make friends Im just not sure how to maintain them...CONFLICT....I think thats why....I even gave up on message boards and chat rooms....I just dont know how to deal with my extreme moods... Thanks, Peter

Need Help in this area.....PLEASE

[Leed]

Hi Peter --- Have you tried any counseling/therapy? It might be a good idea. And if you have tried it, perhaps you need a new therapist. Sometimes we have to switch therapists a few times until we find one that we can trust & relate to.

It sounds like you MIGHT be dealing with low self-esteem -- counseling is very beneficial for that. Why not give it a try? I don't think you'll be disappointed.

I wish you the very best. Take care & God bless. Hugs, Lee

[Neurontin]

Originally Posted by Leed

Hi Peter --- Have you tried any counseling/therapy? It might be a good idea. And if you have tried it, perhaps you need a new therapist. Sometimes we have to switch therapists a few times until we find one that we can trust & relate to.

It sounds like you MIGHT be dealing with low self-esteem -- counseling is very beneficial for that. Why not give it a try? I don't think you'll be disappointed.

I wish you the very best. Take care & God bless. Hugs, Lee

Yeah, Im in therapy. I've just transfered from one clinic to another. It took forever. No complaints with my Dr. My old therapist thought everything was okay. Sometimes I can be so deceptive that I even believe Im okay. Im not at times. Its up and down with me. Very extreme mood swings even on meds. Im really frustrated with therapy. Im giving it another shot though. I got a new therapist and after trusting him... he just informed me that they will be assigning me another therapist...ugghhh...I really hate this. What's the purpose of therapy anyway? I feel like I just go there to just complain. No changes though. Im trying my best. Whatever...Sorry Im babbling again...Thanks anyway...

[Severijn]

You basically sound unhappy in general with your life, especially with your relationships.

You could of course do therapy, take meds, but I've found that doing self-improvement and exercise works much better to manage and overcome mental illnesses. And the good thing is that you not only improve your mental illnesses, but also change your life for the better: make new friends, try new hobbies, become more mature and stable in life, just to name some benefits.

There are tons of books written about communication and social skills. When you go to therapy, you become dependent for your happiness and well-being on someone else. They can't teach you all and every social skill in the world; they can perhaps teach you a few social skills, but not much more. If you want to improve your people skills, you have to do it yourself, and that's when reading self-help books come in.

I suggest you go to amazon.com or barnes-n-nobles.com online, and search for some social skills, relationships, and communication books. Here are some examples:

- http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss...=relationships
- http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_no...skills&x=0&y=0
- http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_no...ication+skills

Just some list with ideas. I recommend doing the self-improvement route if you want to improve your people skills. Becoming dependent on a therapist for your social success doesn't sound like a success recipe to be honest.

[beauflow]

I like the suggestions that Severijn gives-

Ya know relationships are nice, and that goes for all relationships- but what to do when you can not handle the human contact that you crave- I have issues in that dept. as well, though not as bad as it sounds as you do-- The first things that I did when I was younger was to say: "I am ok!" I know that sounds really silly but ya know that little self acceptance can go a long way

You ask what the point of therapy is-- well to me therapy is someone that has some grounding skills, coping skills, someone to talk to, someone that is outside of the box when you tell them something and give suggestions that are constructive and perhaps helpful. It takes two in therapy- The Therapist and the Patient- I kept getting told even before I started therapy- You get what you want out of it- and I do find that true- Some days I feel like i go in and just complain and talk for an hour about issues and problems- OR I feel that my Therapist is just telling me what I already know-- at some times feel no solutions even after therapy session--- but then there are those some days that I get some insight with it all and feel a little better and hey-- maybe try that too! And even with those days that I feel like what i know is being regurgitated to me- I think back and say ok- that seems to be a correct path in ways then.

Therapy is sort of "to each their own"-- Meaning I can see doing hobbies as therapeutic and art as well- Going out and bird watching, chatting with people, playing sports, board games, and the list can go on--- What you enjoy I can see as being therapeutic for many reasons- It gets your mind and body moving, it is something that you enjoy or find some thing interesting and/or fun in it, if you are going through a tough time,- they can be looked upon as breaks for your mind and rests on some things
I will admit I love to do art, but at times I can not do the thing that I love due to lack of motivations and blank and so on, or so upset that I just can't.... but the days when I do find it with in to do what I love-- It makes up for that time spent with the blankness or what not..

The most important relationship I think IMO--- Is with yourself- if you can establish that, allow to see you are human and so forth and love yourself just a little bit-- then I think you are good to try to continue to spread that love with other humans- weather it be platonic love/just love of a friend., or romance love or just genuine love that has no explanation.
I always remind myself that human are humans, and I am human which is complicated and difficult for others as well--- I try to remember to Not have high expectations for others (Though I fail on that many times- it is something being worked on)-- Cuz I know with myself that there is a hard thing with me and others is my expectations- And I know I probably sound like a b1tch when I explain that about myself, but it is one of my flaws...

And again IMO: We all have flaws which help contribute to struggles with relationships with others -- even the other side does-- the main thing with that is acceptance of another- to find another that you can stand and accept them for their flaws. Everyone has them- no one is a "god" of anything or a "perfect human"; right?

be well and hope you well and best wishes your way!