[LylaJean]

My husband has been smoking synthetic marijuana for years.... Long before I knew him. It's legal where we live and it didn't change his work ethic or schooling, so I was always fine with it. I smoke cigarettes, he smokes K2. We've had a lot of good conversations smoking together in the shed. Lately, though, it's starting to get really in the way of a lot of things. I would like to quit smoking, and have tried several times, but it's so hard when he's going out to smoke and I'm sitting alone in the house!! Walgreens is right around the corner, and I always just end up running there, grabbing a pack, so that I can join him. I miss spending that time with him smoking when I try to give it up. He's tried to help me by not telling me when he's going out or going to smoke after I go to bed, but we like to go to bed together so it never really works, cuz then I'm just lying in bed knowing he's in the shed. The other day we had a fight, not related to smoking, and I went to bed early. I heard a big crash noise and got out of bed to check on what was going on, and he had dropped his glass of milk and was too high to pick it up. He could barely walk back to bed and his pants were hanging off of him. Watching him try to get his shoes off was ridiculous. And that kind of stuff scares me! I know he got extra high because of the fight, but what kind of things could have happened if he smoked just a little bit more? Anyways, I got really angry because of that and ran out to the shed and flushed everything he had left to smoke, even hiding his pipes. We didn't speak for the next two days. Now I know that it's a little unfair of me to just make him quit. I don't want to take something away from him that he enjoys just because once in a blue moon it makes me angry, and I know it was rude and immature of me to flush his stuff. He works hard to support me so that I can do volunteer work, and he is a really good man. I feel like he deserves to be able to relax, and I understand that he doesn't want to quit. I can't make that decision for him! We've tried saying we'll only smoke on the weekends, or he'll only smoke 5 bowls a week, etc, but I always end up telling him to just not worry about it after my anger has died down cuz I feel like I'm being unfair. Does anyone else have a way to figure this out?

[Perna]

It is not harmless, especially the more he smokes it anymore than your smoking is harmless to you. If you haven't already told him not to worry about it, I would just use it to help you and him give up the smoking like you want; the money can go for much more important things. Besides, if you are in the U.S., it was outlawed Federally in March of this year, your area many not have gotten around to enforcing it. It has been showed to be much more addictive than regular cannabis, can be like coming off narcotics. Do you two want to be stuck on this stuff all your life?

[LylaJean]

Do you have a link to somewhere that says that? I can't find anything saying that the stuff is any more dangerous than regular weed. It seems like negative side effects come from people smoking it for the first time, usually kids, who have irregular reactions. He's never had any bad side effects.

[lynn P.]

There's no regulation to control these products, therefore you're getting an unstable, potentially dangerous product. Some have very bad reactions and have become psychotic.

http://www.suntimes.com/news/cityhal...onal-plea.html

[Perna]

http://www.gpo.gov/fdsys/pkg/FR-2011.../2011-4428.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JWH-018#United_States

http://cenblog.org/terra-sigillata/2...nce/#more-1704

[LylaJean]

So what do I do? I agree that it's not good to smoke it, it's a gamble. I hate the stuff.

[Perna]

Originally Posted by LylaJean

He's never had any bad side effects.

Dropping glasses of milk and perhaps stepping on the broken glass or worse happening is not a bad effect? You were afraid "worse" could happen, why are you giving up your cigarettes? Neither is a cheap or harmless passtime! You think you are together out in the shed but getting high together is not togetherness; take a yoga class together or something, go park in a scenic spot and read good books, side-by-side, occasionally sharing what you are reading.

[roads]

Originally Posted by LylaJean

So what do I do? I agree that it's not good to smoke it, it's a gamble. I hate the stuff.

Show him the research findings. Describe his condition the night he dropped the milk. Even if he uses to that extent rarely, what if you had needed him then? Life or death? Tell him what you told us: "Watching him try to get his shoes off was ridiculous. And that kind of stuff scares me! I know he got extra high because of the fight, but what kind of things could have happened if he smoked just a little bit more? "

Roadrunner

[lynn P.]

You can trying giving him these links and explain this isn't FDA regulated, which makes it a gamble to smoke. Since these are herbs, I also don't know the long term effects of smoking this, even without the cannabis spray. Since it seems he's addicted to it, this advice you give him might go in one ear and out the other. I'm not advocating marijuana but it would be safer to smoke the real thing. I don't understand how the govern't allows this for sale.

Many states are banning this but unfortunately people can still get it on the internet. Most substance abusers are self medicating so the root of this problem is finding out why does he need to escape his feelings and life. Even marijuana can make some susceptible to mental illness. If he's having this kind of affect, its obvious its not good. A person can also call their local police station and ask them if they plan on getting this banned. I hope he'll agree to stop or get help.

[LylaJean]

Thanks for the advice. I'll talk to him tonight and try showing him the things online, and see what his reaction is. It's really hard to be a respectful, loving wife and still have to be able to stand up to him. I'm always really tempted to try ultimatums, but then I would know that if it came down to it I'd have to follow through...

[Trevor Tennant]

i have tried this synthetic marijauna and my opinion is that is is much more harmfull than regular marijuana after two months of smoking it i noticed a slowing of my mental capabilities and a harsh burning in my lungs and no the can test for it in UA's by sending a sample to a lab in california my advice is to stop using it and maybe have him look into getting a medical card if possible in your state and as for your smoking problem try looking into an electronic cigarette while some brands are no good a few can help you quit and still enjoy the nicotine of a cigarette while not poisoning yourself with all the harmfull carsonagions (i know that's spelled wrong my apologies) but i would suggest looking into it i had quit cigarettes for 3 months and it only took me a week till i moved and could no longer find the Premier brand and my brother was nice enough to get me back to smoking

[lido78]

I really empathize with this as my boyfriend smokes (regular marijuana) to unwind at the end of almost every night. It may be just few puffs off a joint but, honestly, I hate it. I think he may have some undiagnosed ADD issues and this seems to be the only thing to calm him when he's particularly anxious. Sometimes he has trouble sleeping due to anxiety. When he doesn't smoke for long stretches, he's pretty moody and irritable. I don't want to be judgmental, since I've never even tried it, but I just deal with my stress differently (taking a walk, yoga, just bearing through it and hopping on the computer if I can't sleep) and think of this as a bit of a weakness. Usually, I just let it go since it's a few puffs at night but, recently, he's actually gone out in public after having smoked (never done this before; just likes it at home) so it seems to be ramping up. When he smokes more than just a few puffs, I feel as if I'm speaking with a 15 year old and I detest this...it makes me really annoyed and I lose just a little bit of respect for him each time and feel VERY guilty about that. He's a gentle person who never judges other people but, for some reason, I can't let this go and just accept this is part of who he is right now.

[LylaJean]

Well here's an update as to what's going on. We went out of state to visit my family, and while we were there neither of us smoked. He seemed totally fine with it and didn't even bring it up. I was definitely craving cigarettes, but since we were staying busy it wasn't that bad. We got home a couple days ago, and he immediately went to smoke. Before he could make it out the door we had a long, long talk, and he admitted (after a whole lot of tense talking) that he had been smoking more than he wants to for the past couple months, and he knows it's not good for him. He told me he would cut back and only smoke when we both agree it's a good time for it, which I was grateful for. He has been doing a good job of it and he's only smoked once since we've been home, at a time when we both agreed was appropriate. The morning after our "talk", he got up and started cleaning the house, and when I woke up he told me that he had signed us up for a marriage seminar at church starting Sunday because he wants our marriage to be productive and we need to be heading somewhere positive with our life. (Hallelujah!!) Anyways, at least we're moving in the right direction with this.

[lynn P.]

That's very good news LylaJean - best of luck to you and your husband.