[ShootingStars]

When something happens with my friends, when we get into an argument or I did something wrong, it always keeps bothering me for days.

Like a couple of days ago, I told my friend D. what was bothering me. But if my friend R. hadn't told me a certain thing, I couldn't have said something about it to my friend D. So D. knew R. told me something about it. I told R. that I told D. because it really bothered me. So R. got a bit annoyed that I couldn't keep it to myself. But I only said it so there wouldn't be any problems anymore.
Now R. told me something that someone told her about me, and I mailed that person about what he said, cuz i felt the same way even before R. told me. I didn't say R. told me something.

Now she's like: you told him I told you? (which I didn't) and she got a bit mad at me and was like: "i won't tell you anything anymore ". But I never told him that R. told me. I said to R. to tell him I thought the same thing and that's why I mailed him.
I said sorry, that I didn't know he would connect the dots between me telling him and him telling her. She said it was okay and we talked about other stuff.
But it still bothers me. It wasn't my intention to make him think that she told me. I didn't tell him she told me. Now I'm kinda scared she won't trust me again or tell my friends things I told her about them.

To generalize it, I'm upset with the most little things that happen between me and my friends. Like this is gonna bother me for days, even though she said it was okay.
I don't wanna be upset about every little "bad" thing that happens between me and my friends, but I do it.
Anybody have any ideas how I can let things go easier?

Sorry if it's a bit confusing...

[Leed]

Well, I think the first thing you should do is NOT repeat what others have told you! It always seems to cause problems anyway -- and as you know, you lose your friends' trust that way. So it's best to just keep quiet about stuff like that. I'm sure it bothers you because you know you shouldn't have said anything, and your conscience is bugging you.

When you're tempted to say something, just change the subject. LOL It's safer that way. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee

[ShootingStars]

Originally Posted by Leed

Well, I think the first thing you should do is NOT repeat what others have told you! It always seems to cause problems anyway -- and as you know, you lose your friends' trust that way. So it's best to just keep quiet about stuff like that. I'm sure it bothers you because you know you shouldn't have said anything, and your conscience is bugging you.

When you're tempted to say something, just change the subject. LOL It's safer that way. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee

Yea, I'm not gonna do that anymore, that I learned ^^
I just hope she still trusts me cuz I didn't do it on purpose :/

[ShootingStars]

Yea, I've learned that I'm not gonna do anything with such information. I just hope she still trusts me cuz I didn't do it on purpose.
It's not like I told her biggest secrets or her opinion or something, just what they told them. Next time I'll just tell her to tell them to tell me.

[Perna]

I would not gossip, allow anyone to tell you about a third person at all; it is not first-hand so is out of context and meaningless. The only person another can tell you about is themselves.

[JLarissaDragon]

That which is told in confidence should remain that way. It is best not to ever repeat information about another person, though sometimes perhaps t is unavoidable. When someone violates a confidence it leaves all kinds of bad feelings to get through. As women we often have the urge to talk about stuff, but I have found that it is often better to be a little careful, because people can often misinterpret what we say, depending on the space they are in at the time. Maybe that makes s less open, but it also protects us and others from unnecessary hurts