[Welch90]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for close to 4 years and are planning on getting married this summer he is 30 and I will be 24 this April. In the past year or so we have been having problems in bed, he can’t seem to keep his erection while having intercourse and seems to have no real interest in sex he can masturbate with no problems but when it comes to sex it’s like he just doesn’t care anymore but if I want to do something he is all for making me feel good and is more than able to do that but after wards with what would normally lead up to 4 play just ends at me getting done and he says he is ok with that but it makes me feel as if I’m not doing something right I want to make him feel good as well ever since this has been happening I have notices a significant decrease in my passion in everyday life before all this started are sexual relationship was 100%. I have asked many people and they say it’s due to our situation at home. He has lost his job about a year ago and we have had major money trouble ever since He keeps saying it’s just stress but when I talk about ways to try to get past that things we can do to help out the bedroom life none of it seems to help .I fear that if we can’t figure this issue out our relationship may fail.

[lynn P.]

Welcome to PC Welch90. Before this past year was your sex life good? There could be several reasons why this is happening. For men who lose their job which result in financial troubles - this is often a big blow to their self esteem. Does he seem depressed - depression and anxiety from stress can affect libido. Does he watch porn - sometimes people can become desensitized to a point where they find it difficult to climax, during regular sex with their partner. Masturbation from watching porn ends up replacing sexual intimacy. The last thing I wanted to mention is, relationships can go through stages where sex becomes routine - they're bored a bit.

Have a calm discussion and ask him why he thinks this is happening - you'll know from his answer whether he needs to see a doctor, therapist or a couples counselor. Sex is a vital part of a healthy relationship and you're wise to get this settled before you marry. I hope you find the answer to your problem and get the support you need.