[lighty110]

So, there's this guy I've been crushing on and he knows it. The problem is that he has a girlfriend. James guessed that I liked him and I then admitted it. He then said that if he and Samantha broke up he would date me. We have a close relationship to the point of where we can talk about anything. And yes, we have talked about sex and stuff along those lines. There really are no boundries. We text until midnight (or later in some cases) and we have a lot of fun when we are together.

The latest situation with him happened yesterday. I was hanging out with James' younger sister Sarah who I am friends with and we were having fun. Sarah and I got a little high off of sugar because we have no tolerance what so ever. We went into his room where he was IMing his girlfriend and we literally tried to hold him down (which didn't work) in order to paint his nails. Sarah and I weren't succeeding and James was messeging his girlfriend. Sarah left to go get another bottle of nail polish and James let me see his messeges to Samantha. One of them went like this: "Hey, do you think if I asked Cari for sexual favors in exchange for painting my nails she would accept?" Samantha was mad of course and I don't blame her. I would be to if I were in her case.

I don't mind his joking. I just don't think it's smart for him to say things like that to his girlfriend. It's not fair to her and it's not fair to me. I don't know how to respond to situations like that. This isn't the first time something like that has happened, where he makes a sex reference to me or talks about dating me in front of her. I laugh it off, but it confuses me. Is there any particular way I should respond these situations? One of my friends says that he is playing me and that he doesn't deserve my attention. I don't know what to make of all this. Any ideas?

[Perna]

Hi, lighty110, welcome to PsychCentral (PC).

Is James your age or older than you (are you Sarah's age)?

The only behavior you can control is your own and trying to hold a boy down in his own room to paint his nails is definitely flirting behavior? Put yourself in his shoes; here he has a couple girls in his room trying to hold him down (on his bed?) trying to do things to him Sounds pretty "hot" to me for a teenage boy. It could be he messaged Samantha to make sure he "got in trouble" so he would not be too tempted and would have additional "control" over having two girls crawling all over him. Samatha is safe because she is his girlfriend so behavior like you two were doing would be okay with her but I think you should tone yourself down some when you are around him, see if he does not make as many comments as a "relief" valve?