[Hazel Glitter]

I need to vent again. I feel like crap. I told my husband I wanted a divorce if he was not going to treat the children better and he has been okay but not the best. It seems like he is only doing certain things to appease me instead of actually trying to change. I don't believe I even like him anymore. When he decides to sleep on the couch, I am happy. I don't even like him touching me anymore. What if he does get help and changes and I don't want to be with him. My daughter (7) is having behavioral issues and my son (2) is physically violent and shows signs of anger. I now catch myself being angry and bitter. How will I ever manage myself and two children if I leave? I am lost and becoming hopeless. Am I just not letting myself be happy?

[Caretaker Leo]

Children are remarkable creatures. They often see and sense issues before their parents even do! Quite likely, their behavior is reflecting what they have seen between you and your hub. I know that is what happened with my children.

Please consider counseling for yourself, and in time, joint counseling for you and your hub. Don't try to make a decision now or imagine whether or not you will want to remain with him if he changes. We can only take it one day at a time and watch to see if changes in ourselves or others might actually bring us back together.

But if you can't stop worrying about whether you can manage - then start working on a plan for how you will manage. Write down where you will live, how you will pay the bills, who can watch your children when you go to work, who can be part of your support system, etc.

[Hazel Glitter]

Originally Posted by Caretaker Leo

Children are remarkable creatures. They often see and sense issues before their parents even do! Quite likely, their behavior is reflecting what they have seen between you and your hub. I know that is what happened with my children.

Please consider counseling for yourself, and in time, joint counseling for you and your hub. Don't try to make a decision now or imagine whether or not you will want to remain with him if he changes. We can only take it one day at a time and watch to see if changes in ourselves or others might actually bring us back together.

But if you can't stop worrying about whether you can manage - then start working on a plan for how you will manage. Write down where you will live, how you will pay the bills, who can watch your children when you go to work, who can be part of your support system, etc.

Thank you. I found a therapist that I want to see but she has not returned my email or call to set up an appointment. Very discouraging because I really want to see her. I feel like marrying him was a mistake and my life has went downhill since.