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Old Feb 06, 2012, 03:14 PM
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doggiedo doggiedo is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jan 2012
Location: Northeast US
Posts: 1,014
My b/f and I have been going through a little rough patch a few weeks back (just when I had first signed on to this discussion group, actually). I wasn’t sure what I wanted, etc. Well, last week I decided to commit and see where things go. I’ve been happy since then, but I do I think he’s not so sure…he’s just keeping his distance. My main concerns for him are:

1.) He says he has been in a funk – he’s divorced with two teenage kids, so it has been a challenge on him financially and emotionally to help his kids settle into his new place, fund all their needs, etc.
2.) He has been working overtime – which means we only see each other once per week, maybe 2x if we’re lucky. He is a personal trainer, and he is annoyed with the sporadic meeting times. Since this is his second job, he is thinking of getting rid of his 3 clients and taking only overtime on his full-time job (cop), since he can get more $ that way.
3.) I asked if he wanted to plan a camping week/end this summer, thinking I should probably book that sooner than later. My counselor said it’s good for me to think ahead and to NOT be scared to commit to plans! I asked him what his thoughts were and if he wanted to plan on something with me – he said he would rather wait and see how things go.

My reaction – WHAT? See how things go? I told him I wanted to be with him….but on the other hand, I can see how he is probably just feeling a little
jolted by last week’s mini-break up. I don’t want to be afraid to plan ahead, so that’s why I just wanted to go and plan something. It would be fun! I want
to go camping with him! I want to plan on taking a week with him.

My question: Am I asking too much from him? Am I looking too far ahead?
I want to be there for him as he’s going through a difficult time (he battles with depression every now and then)….and it’s certainly understandable since I’ve been so up and down in the relationship.

I hate to admit, but I’m a little hurt that he doesn’t want to commit to a vacation in late May – like I said, I understand, but it still hurts that he doesn’t know if we’ll be together. Should I give it a few more weeks or a few more months before I bring up vacation again?

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