[Hydrophobic1212]

Okay, so I won't beat around the bush, this is my situation.

I just started dating this guy about a month ago, and it was going okay for a little bit. But recently, I've been feeling like I might not like him as much as you need to, to be boyfriend and girlfriend. It was all made clear yesterday, however. We went on a Valentine's Day date and it was going well, but I just felt off the whole night. It wasn't until he kissed me for the first time (and it was my very first kiss, too) that I realized fully, I don't like him like that. The kiss made me miserable! I got absolutely nothing from it! And it was a terrible kiss, too! Even if it was terrible, I still should have felt something. The more I think about it today, the more I realized I just like him as a friend. But you never know how you'll feel about someone until you try it out.

My problem lies in the fact that I'm his first girlfriend and he's really, really excited about dating someone. I feel guilty leading him on, but at the same time, I would feel guilty hurting his feelings.

I don't know what to do...

Any suggestions?

[NuckingFutz]

Sounds like you realized you were no longer interested in this young man as a boyfriend. That doesn't mean he gets to keep your heart hostage because you are his first gf. You need to honor your feelings and act on the fact that you do not like him the same as he likes you. I'd let him know in a nice way that you would like him for a friend.

That way you both are free to persue other people for dating.

Wishing you luck.

[Sasha Fierce]

Originally Posted by Hydrophobic1212

Okay, so I won't beat around the bush, this is my situation.

I just started dating this guy about a month ago, and it was going okay for a little bit. But recently, I've been feeling like I might not like him as much as you need to, to be boyfriend and girlfriend. It was all made clear yesterday, however. We went on a Valentine's Day date and it was going well, but I just felt off the whole night. It wasn't until he kissed me for the first time (and it was my very first kiss, too) that I realized fully, I don't like him like that. The kiss made me miserable! I got absolutely nothing from it! And it was a terrible kiss, too! Even if it was terrible, I still should have felt something. The more I think about it today, the more I realized I just like him as a friend. But you never know how you'll feel about someone until you try it out.

My problem lies in the fact that I'm his first girlfriend and he's really, really excited about dating someone. I feel guilty leading him on, but at the same time, I would feel guilty hurting his feelings.

I don't know what to do...

Any suggestions?

I may be projecting on you, but I'm gonna go ahead and share my thoughts. I met my husband when I was 15. I had the same feelings you're having. I liked him ok, but just didn't feel as into him as I thought I should. He on the other hand was IN LOVE. I had this weird sense of guilt, pity, and obligation that made me stay with him. I only wanted to avoid hurting his feelings and now 15 years later we are married with two kids and I've been unhappy the whole time because I know I'm with the wrong person. I'm not saying you're going to marry this guy, but I just know that it's easier and healthier for yourself to make a decision early on when there's less to hurt someone over. He'll be sad and disappointed but he'll be fine and get over it. If you're not feeling into him and if you felt nothing by him kissing you (and even described his kiss as "terrible") then it's pretty safe to say you should move on. Good luck sweetie, hope you feel better soon and figure things out.

[Hydrophobic1212]

Well, I broke up with him. It was hard, and I think he was upset, but he did tell me thank you for telling him now rather than later. So I think it's all good. The only thing is, I work with him so it'll be very awkward.

[Harley47]

It doesn't have to be, I don't think. If you broke up on good terms, just try to be friendly with him, though don't push it right now. Just be genial. It will be a little awkward for a bit, but I think in time, it'll be okay.

You did the right thing here.

[Sasha Fierce]

Originally Posted by Hydrophobic1212

Well, I broke up with him. It was hard, and I think he was upset, but he did tell me thank you for telling him now rather than later. So I think it's all good. The only thing is, I work with him so it'll be very awkward.

Good for you. Now you'll know for future relationships that you can do it. It'll be awkward for a bit but you sound like you'll be able to handle that just fine.