[doggiedo]

My boyfriend is very emotional. Not in a bad way, but just very in touch with his emotions and feelings. He only sees his kids a few days a week and recently they have been doing sleepovers and stuff with their friends on the days they are supposed to see him. It makes him sad, but he doesn't want to stop them from being teenagers and hanging with their friends. He, himself, came from a broken home, so he knows how difficult it was to manage friends and weekends at his dad's house. It's a tough thing to manage, I'm sure.

Today he just was in a funk. I'm not sure how to help him. He has good days and bad days. THe bad days usually only lasts a day here or there, but it's tough to know how to help him.

I'm getting to be in a better place with my own depression, but I am at a loss for how to help him. All I want to do is yell and say...please cheer up, I love you, I want you to be happy. I know that was the LAST thing I wanted to hear when I was in a bad place.

His job isn't the happiest place to be - he's had some union problems at the station (he is a cop). He isn't wiling to go to therapy since it's just not "what cops do" or so he tells me. He is also upset that we live so far away - it's only an hour, but he's saying things like, 'I wish we could see each other more - like other people who date. It's not fair". My reaction is that Life Isn't Fair! Either deal with what we have or let's break up and find someone else who is closer in distance. Idk what to tell him or how to make him happy. It's like I can only be WHO I AM...if he isn't happy, i can't change things for him.

The weird part is, he might be fine tomorrow, I just don't know. I'm not sure where to go with this or how to help him.

[PrincessxKitty]

Kinda sounds like my situation - living an hour away and not getting to see each other thing. Even though it's only an hour away, it still sucks. It seems like you're stressed and frustrated that you're trying to be positive (and stay positive), so when he's in his "low" points its frustrating because you just don't know what to do. I feel the same way.
I think the only way to work things out (at least a lil) is to talk about it and figure out a way you guys can work things out (preferably when he's not depressed); his job probably doesn't help with his emotions, since the job comes with a lot of stress and frustration, etc etc. and requires a lot of support (mainly emotionally)
But I think talking it out is the best solution to figure out where you guys are and to figure things out - like the distance thing. Communication is the key (so I've been told). It seems like you both need to support each other, but I think talking about it should establish what needs to be done and etc.

Sorry if i couldn't be much help, but I know exactly how it feels. Best of luck to you!

[Callmebj]

Hi doggiedo, I think everyone get into a funk now and then. Pity party or whatever
life is like that at times. I don't think anybody needs to be lifted out of that particular mode when normally everything is okay. I don't think you can make him happy, but you are much a part of his happiness I am sure. Just by being there for him and having your time together I'm sure he counts as blessings. Just my thoughts. hugs, bj

[doggiedo]

THanks for the responses, guys. I have to say, I very much look forward to them to see your thoughts on the situation and suggestions.

I know I can't "make" him happy, and I don't think that's exactly what I'm looking for. I think I just need to come to terms with just being there for him as he go through this difficult time. When I am feeling low, he usually tells me that everyone has their down days, and he just listens and is supportive. I think this is something I need to learn how to do better than I currently do. That comes with time and practice, though...right?

So, he also is the type that needs to have his own space sometimes when he's feeling down. It's the total opposite from when he's feeling great. usually when he's in a good mood he cant get enough of me. It's just such an extreme change, I'm just not sure how to adjust. I guess it's a learning process.