[Yesterdays]

My sister and I just dropped my mom off at the mental hospital, where she'll probably be for the next few days. She's been depressed and suicidal lately, and the psychiatrist that we both see recommended that she go to the hospital. I'm really kind of shaken up about it.

The thing is that I can't help but blame myself. Almost two years ago I was in the hospital myself, and spent a long time in a phase of depression that I haven't even close to overcome until recently. I know it's probably ridiculous to feel like I contributed, but I just feel that had I not been depressed and had she not have had to spend so much of her time worried about me, she would have taken better care of herself and her own emotions.

She is always mad at me about something or other, and the fact that sometimes I feel out of control with my emotions gets to her as much as it does me. For the first time I wish I could be mental illness free, not just for me, but for her. I don't think I realized until now how much this has been wearing her down, and I hate myself for it.

I'm only sixteen, but I can't help but worry about my mom and feel like it's my responsibility to take care of her. But even if it was, I'm doing a pretty crappy job doing that, regardless. I just want to be the perfect daughter and make things easier for her. But I don't think I can.

Just some hugs or words of kindness would be appreciated... it's scary to see my mom like this, and since she forbade us to tell anyone in our family she is at the hospital, I feel kind of alone. So, thank you for anything you can offer.

[Trippin2.0]

don't blame yourself, your mom doesn't blame you. Glad you got her to a hospital, I hope she feels better soon.

You're not alone, you're among friends. Please take the time to be kind to yourself

[Bella01]

Your too young to be blaming yourself. You just try and take care of yourself first. That way you can be in a state where you can help your mom.

Just remember it's not your fault.

[shezbut]

I imagine that it is hard not to blame yourself, but please don't! You most certainly aren't the cause of your mom needing to be hospitalized.

Try to focus on the positives: your mom did go in for help (YAY!), and you have learned some techniques to help yourself work through your range of emotions in a healthy way. Your mom will be coming home soon. Through your personal experience, you'll be able to relate to your mom in a new way. You two can talk to each other about the hospitalizations and share helpful experiences with one another.

Like: closing eyes and deep breathing; focusing on a leaf (or other thing) for 5 minutes; imagery; etc.

It's not your fault at all. Gentle hugs sent your way!

[gma45]

Hi Yesterdays, You are not responsible for your mom's feelings. She is a mom she is going to worry about you regardless how you feel. She is getting help for her depression just like you did. Sometimes we all need a break. The best thing you can do is just be there for her and take good care of yourself while she is away. We are here for you, you are not alone. Sending big hugs your way(((((((((((Yesterdays)))))))))))))!

[Scotty204]

It's tough, my brother and I took our mother in as well about 10 years ago. I also realized that depression runs in my family and I also suffer from it. Just be there for her and I hope she gets out soon.