[Maku2004]

I have been married for 8 years and we live together for 10 years. We have a son. The first 5 years of our marriage I think were good, but almost all of the last three year she is accusing me that I have a relationship with other women, which is NOT true. This started when some enemies of our marriage spread wrong information about me saying that I am engaged with others. That is how it started. However, I tried to explain to her that I didn't do it. I even offered a lie detector, but she wouldn't believe me. Is there a way to prove your innocence other than telling the truth?
Recently, she told me that the underwear I have on is bought by my “girlfriend”. It just doesn’t make sense I don't know how she is coming to such conclusion.
We went to marriage counselor and the councilor told her that she is paranoia and she needs help and see Therapist, but she don’t believe anyone that she needs a help. Is there a way to cope with this? Can I get help from therapist how to cope?

[LightningMan]

Maku, I went through a similar thing. My mother-in-law moved into my house and convinced my wife that I was looking for other women. I wasn't and was just extremely dissatisfied with how the relationship was going. However, my wife kept believing it, to the point where I very nearly had an affair since I felt that if I was being punished for it I might as well do it.

In the end, there is nothing you can do to convince her. Continue to tell the truth and continue to stay chaste as long as you're in the marriage. But for me, I had to improve my mental health and well-being and in the end that meant terminating the marriage.

Concentrate on your mental health and either your woman will come around or you'll find one better suited for you.

[Perna]

Yes, I would go see a counselor yourself and learn how to feel better about yourself so you do not feel like you have to defend yourself. If you have done nothing wrong, you know that and that's that; what someone else believes is their problem. If your wife is making strange claims about your underwear being bought by another woman, you should be able to laugh as a response since it is so truly strange and wrong.

[Maku2004]

Lightningman & Perna,

Thank you for your support and reply.

[Ortus]

Accusing underwear to be purchased by a girlfriend is getting into some real paranoia. There is something called delusional disorder jealousy type. It's an extreme jealousy type but it might be worth looking over the symptoms of it as it could get worse and worse and she feeds into it. Just based on what you described, it might be worth a read over: http://www.psychforums.com/delusiona...opic69682.html.

Are these enimies of your relationship who told your wife you were engaging in others still around? Three years is a long time to not have this sorted out. I don't really know what to suggest besides counseling. But you said you and your wife tried that and she wasn't open to it. I'm sorry you are dealing with this, I hope you can find a solution that works fir you.

[Maku2004]

She says they told her, but she will not mention who they are.

Originally Posted by Anika

Are these enimies of your relationship who told your wife you were engaging in others still around? Three years is a long time to not have this sorted out. I don't really know what to suggest besides counseling. But you said you and your wife tried that and she wasn't open to it. I'm sorry you are dealing with this, I hope you can find a solution that works fir you.

Wow, that seems really unfair. It makes a person wonder if she even heard it at all. I'm really sorry for your situation. I really don't know what I would do, I've never been in that position. I don't think I would be able to stick it out for three years tho. I think I would go to counseling by myself at this point, and go from there.

If you are telling the truth, there is nothing more you need to do to prove yourself except for sticking to your truth. Truth does not need to be defended over and over again.

[Maku2004]

Thank you so much Anika, this means a lot to me.

Originally Posted by Anika

Wow, that seems really unfair. It makes a person wonder if she even heard it at all. I'm really sorry for your situation. I really don't know what I would do, I've never been in that position. I don't think I would be able to stick it out for three years tho. I think I would go to counseling by myself at this point, and go from there.

If you are telling the truth, there is nothing more you need to do to prove yourself except for sticking to your truth. Truth does not need to be defended over and over again.