So.. Hi! I'm Dan. I have finally been able to be honest with my wife after twelve years marriage. I finally talked to her, honestly, about what's been going on with me. She was the strong one, actually, showing me patterns of behavior and calling me out on the things I have been doing. All I really had to do was admit it, and I almost couldn't even do that! But I did! And it broke a cycle of fighting that we have been in for just about ever! Well, not really fighting as much as her reacting to me. I'm the one that is in a cycle. But I have her support now! and I also have a Psychologist appointment tommorrow! This scares me to death! I have known I have needed help since I was a kid. But now I have talked about it. Now someone else knows things that I can not take back. Now it's real! I asked her to look me in the eyes and tell me what she believed. She told me that she believed I had a serious mental condition. I told her that I believe that too. I told her that I need her to be concrete in her thinking.. to not change her mind. Everyone that I have ever trusted like this before... they would get into it with me and then suddenly... change their minds! I told her how important it was to me that she did not do that. She said she understood but I don't know if she knows what that would do to me if she just simply... changed her mind! Has anyone else been through this? I'm having a really, really hard time.

[Leed]

When I was married to my 1st husband, I too had some mental issues, but he always said that I was "over-reacting" to things, and didn't believe there was anything wrong with me. Well, I ended up committing myself to a mental hospital! After I got out, I continued to see my psychiatrist for a year, and I'm not sure he even believed me then!

We went to couples counseling too, and during the first visit, the counselor said something to him that he didn't like, so he walked out and never went back. So much for that.

So yes, I've been thru it. I applaud you for acknowledging that you have a problem, and also your wife for supporting you!! You're very lucky! I wish you the very best in your treatment -- I'm sure it will help you immensely! God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

It's really hard to imagine myself in that scenario. Psychiatrists really scare me. The whole thing does. Didn't it scare you? And you had to go into it alone! I would never be pursuing this without Karen. I'm really sorry that you had to be that strong. I hope you have people now that support you.

[Mike_J]

I think honesty and living up to your commitments to each other is an important part of a relationship.

And trust is HUGE, trust in your spouse, trust in your therapist, you need to trust these people but with that said I know how hard it is to trust people after being let down by others your whole life.

Good luck

[shezbut]

(((landscaperdan)))

I hope that your wife stays committed to you throughout your treatment. You have just come over a huge invisible wall in your life though, stay on that path to keep it from coming back up again.

I wish you the very best in treatment. Your marriage is on the verge of becoming so much stronger, and that is wonderful!

I really DO appreciate this support!! Thank you!