[PatBateman]

I have a problem opening up in a relationship. I have some internal wall that my partners keep hitting. I don't know why but it's like I don't want a relationship. I think I do. But I just always mess up. I'm clingy apparently. When should I know when to give space? I'm apparently clingy yet I don't get attached very easily. Why can't I every keep a relationship going. And when I find someone I like I end up turning them away without realizing it. If I stay with someone for long I start getting bored... I would love some pointers please.

[Leed]

It almost sounds like you're afraid to get 'too close' to someone for fear that they'll find out something about you --- even tho there might not be anything "bad" to find out! Maybe you're afraid that if they get to know the REAL you, they won't like you. I wouldn't be afraid --- just be yourself! If you attracted them in the first place, there must have been something about you that they like. You can't hide everything. Parts of the real you come thru whether you're trying to hide them or not.

Try not to be too clingy -- you've got to give each other space or you will drive the other one away. No one is attached at the hip. We all need to have our own time & space to do our own "thing" even in a marriage! It might be a good idea for you to get into counseling. A good therapist could help you with these issues.

Best of luck & God bless. Hugs, Lee

[honeybee777]

Pat you sound alot like you have BPD, serioulsy have you been diagnosed?