[illusionist]

i've had many discussions with many persons regarding this topic.
those who favored Friendship said it is more valuable than love because:

- it lasts, not like love who becomes a mixture of respect, habit, responsibility and other things.
- Friendship is not selfish or painful like love where you want that person only for urself!!
- Friendship does not require anthg in return, not like love where u keep asking for feelings in return, for commitment, and for many other things.


on the other hand, those who said love is more valuable, argued that:

- Love is the highest level of feelings that a human can reach
- when u truly love someone, u would do anything for him!
- u chose the person u love to spend ur life with, to have children with, to share the smallest details in ur life with. u do these things only with the person u love! not with a friend!

and so long ...the list of arguments for both sides is long, those were few of them!

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so people, what do you think? which one is more valuable? please don't reply saying that each one is different, i know that they are different, but let's say you have to chose one! which one would u chose? Friendship? or Love?

P.S: please note that none of the arguments given in the beginning are provided by me! i only stated what other ppl say, i didn't mention my opinion yet regarding this topic! i would like to hear urs first!

thank you in advance!

[Perna]

My therapist taught me the difference between them; asked me to name a friend (my husband) and asked for 3 reasons they were my friend (he's "warm", "fun" and "friendly" :-) She then compared that list to my stepmother, whom I loved and. . .nope, doesn't cut it.

Friends we choose. We don't necessarily choose who we love. We want to hang with friends but not necessarily with those we love. Having a person fit both categories (my husband :-) is the best!

[RomanSunburn]

No trying to be offensive, but the list that prefers friendship seems to have a very immature view on love and friendship, both. Every relationship you will ever have is about give and take. A friendship won't survive if you do nothing. Someone will not continue to be your friend simply because. There is definitely an exchange of emotions, responsibility, and respect towards one another. I believe every healthy relationship, friendship or otherwise, already has those qualities and doesn't transform into them (or reduced to them, as the list of friendship supporters might suggest). Maybe more like they're the foundation for a healthy relationship opening the door to love...

Perna has a good point -- there are different kinds of love, that unfortunately, we don't distinguish between in English (unlike Latin). But I would definitely agree that the "love of your life" should also be your best friend.

[Tonnieg]

I say love. Love is everything. Love is not just in us humans but in animals and in all living things in this world. Without love we would be nothing. You can suvive your life without friendships(yes it may be lonely) but people always seek and give love.
Just my thoughts

[kykid]

I say, why choose? I became friends first with my wife and while we have been married for 23 years this October 7th, she is still my best friend.

[Rmdctc]

Like others have said I believe that the best thing is to marry your best friend. It makes for the best marriages because not only do you love the person you enjoy spending time with them.

I know that I happen to have fell in love with what was my best guy friend and it really was great. It sucked that he didn't feel the same way but not only did we get along great I truly wanted to be with him and be there for him no matter what.

I also think emotions are not cut and dry. You can have friends you love and friends who you don't. You can also have people you love but aren't friendly with. I have both in my life and it can and does get very complicated. All I can say is life is complicated and when people experience more they learn to expand their definitions of what all kinds of relationships are.