[ShootingStars]

Long story short: there was this guy I had a crush on (huge) for over half a year. Then I thought I was over him, Because I thought he was a jerk. So I've been a bit breezy when he's around, not giving him too much attention, not asking for his attention, nothing. I saw him again last night at a bar, he practically didn't leave me for a minute, talking to me,.. You know.
Then he was like: you don't like me anymore, do you? And I laughed and ignored his question. He asked it for a couple of times and I was like: well, we don't get along like we did half a year ago so...I don't know. It's like he couldn't bear the thought that I didn't like him anymore. I don't know if it's an ego thing or if he wants me to like him...I don't know.
So then I left, Because I wanted to go home. He followed me and hugged me, saying me I'll have to text him when I got home (which I forgot) and asking me if we could meet up on Sunday, I said that he had plans (cuz I know he did) and he said he'll still make it.

Problem now is: I got over him because I thought he was messing with me, and I thought he was a jerk. But by the way he's acting now, the butterflies are coming back, I want his attention, I just...want him. I know he's no good for me and the relationship would be a burden on me Because of my insecurity, but still..
I don't know now if he's interested or not (he said: if I wasn't interested, I wouldn't be standing here with you all night) or if he's just messing about...I don't know what to do. I'm not gonna ask him bluntly: are you into me or not? Because that would make things weird and we've already been there half a year ago.

I don't really know how to interact with him when I see him. He'll be all flirty and asking me how I feel about him but I just wanna get along, my gut tells me he hasn't changed and is still the "player" he was last time, but I don't know...

Anybody who has some advice? Would be so much appreciated!

[Perna]

He's messing with you as surely as he's messing with whoever he has the Sunday plans with? He's a messer! Don't get sucked in again. Why would he treat you any differently than before? There's nothing there in what you recount, especially with his reply when you know he has Sunday plans, that don't say "cheater"/messer? If he'd do it to someone else, he'd do it to you again.

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by ShootingStars

Long story short: there was this guy I had a crush on (huge) for over half a year. Then I thought I was over him, Because I thought he was a jerk. So I've been a bit breezy when he's around, not giving him too much attention, not asking for his attention, nothing. I saw him again last night at a bar, he practically didn't leave me for a minute, talking to me,.. You know.
Then he was like: you don't like me anymore, do you? And I laughed and ignored his question. He asked it for a couple of times and I was like: well, we don't get along like we did half a year ago so...I don't know. It's like he couldn't bear the thought that I didn't like him anymore. I don't know if it's an ego thing or if he wants me to like him...I don't know.
So then I left, Because I wanted to go home. He followed me and hugged me, saying me I'll have to text him when I got home (which I forgot) and asking me if we could meet up on Sunday, I said that he had plans (cuz I know he did) and he said he'll still make it.

Problem now is: I got over him because I thought he was messing with me, and I thought he was a jerk. But by the way he's acting now, the butterflies are coming back, I want his attention, I just...want him. I know he's no good for me and the relationship would be a burden on me Because of my insecurity, but still..
I don't know now if he's interested or not (he said: if I wasn't interested, I wouldn't be standing here with you all night) or if he's just messing about...I don't know what to do. I'm not gonna ask him bluntly: are you into me or not? Because that would make things weird and we've already been there half a year ago.

I don't really know how to interact with him when I see him. He'll be all flirty and asking me how I feel about him but I just wanna get along, my gut tells me he hasn't changed and is still the "player" he was last time, but I don't know...

Anybody who has some advice? Would be so much appreciated!

If all you want is minor flirtation over a dinner table or bar stool, he's your man (and probably a lot of other peoples' man) but I prefer a steady, sincere non-player.

[ShootingStars]

Originally Posted by IceCreamKid

If all you want is minor flirtation over a dinner table or bar stool, he's your man (and probably a lot of other peoples' man) but I prefer a steady, sincere non-player.

So do I, but a little part of me is hoping he's changed and is really into me, but I guess I'm just playing tricks on myself. He's no good...

[horizonparadox]

the important thing to bere in mind, is you chose to kick this guy out of you emotional life for a reason.
now i think in a very scientific many. so i must beleave that there is always room, in any cercumstance, for change.
having said that your feelings now could just be nostalgia. if so you need to stand by your previous desition, if you dont, you could caurse great damage to your self worth, and (*could*) spiral down into much worst situations than you could imagen.
but if you truly think he has change, not think you can change him, great, do your thing.
you also got to remember that no matter what, any thing that you do has to be your decision, not anyone else. take advice, dont take advice, but never do what others tell you to. yer take the infomation you hear from others, and compile your on plan for what you think is best for you.
people who make snap decisions for you, based on very little first hand evidence, need to accept they're ignorence. i know im ignorent to the situation, therefore the only advice i give is probability of your feelings to the scenario.
he may be an arsehole, but i just dont know.
stand by your feelings, do what you think is right, but if nothing has changed since when you made your decision back then, stand by your decision now.
much love
Dox

[Polydodecahedron]

Hi ShootingStars, I have been once where you were and all I can say is I wished I had let myself move on completely. I didn't though and after a good year later the arrogant a-hole returned into my life. We had a volatile relationship that left me more damaged than I was before which resulted in years of problems to try and rewrite the terrible patterns.

If your gut told you to steer clear before, you would probably be better to figure its still right and that he's too late and he missed his chance. What ever held him back before probably hasn't changed even if he pretends it does. The fact that he sounds more concerned about where your feelings have gone for him suggests his underlying self centred motives, which you noted yourself. ... Not sure if that was what you really wanted to hear, but I hope it's of some help.

Move on to someone who really likes you and hasn't kept you dangling on after all this time. There are def more fish in the sea

[ShootingStars]

Originally Posted by Polydodecahedron

Hi ShootingStars, I have been once where you were and all I can say is I wished I had let myself move on completely. I didn't though and after a good year later the arrogant a-hole returned into my life. We had a volatile relationship that left me more damaged than I was before which resulted in years of problems to try and rewrite the terrible patterns.

If your gut told you to steer clear before, you would probably be better to figure its still right and that he's too late and he missed his chance. What ever held him back before probably hasn't changed even if he pretends it does. The fact that he sounds more concerned about where your feelings have gone for him suggests his underlying self centred motives, which you noted yourself. ... Not sure if that was what you really wanted to hear, but I hope it's of some help.

Move on to someone who really likes you and hasn't kept you dangling on after all this time. There are def more fish in the sea

You're right. If he asks me if I still like him, i'll subtly avoid his question, laugh it away. He had his chance, for over half a year, lol, time enough you'd think, right?
I should move on

[Polydodecahedron]

Hey glad it was a help and good on you for moving on! Best of luck

[SakuraLi]

When in doubt, leave these type of guys alone. When we feel this conflicted about a guy it`s our intuition as women struggling to keep us safe. I`ve been in your situation many times as a young lady with low self esteem in my early 20s and as a 30 year old I look back and think how did I put up with that? I`m still fighting low self esteem even at this age but it`s never worth accepting less from a guy because we want attention. Trust me on this one. Good luck.

[ShootingStars]

Thank you all for your advice!
I'm gonna let it go. He's no good for me and I deserve a guy who treats me well and makes me feel I'm worth it no more whiplashes from his moodswings!

[CastlesInTheAir]

He sounds like someone I know. He's actually a friend of mine but likes to play games and such. I keep him at a distance and even have told him that I think he is mostly full of ****. :-) sometimes I piss him off because he wants "something" and I just tease the crap out him even though he isn't getting that "something" because he deserves it. Needs to learn not to play games and how to be faithful.

[ShootingStars]

Yea, that kinda sounds like him... Oh well, he had his chance for a year, you'd think that would be enough time to make a move ^^
Now I'm all good but when I'll see him again i'll get the weak knees, lol. But I'm not giving in

[CastlesInTheAir]

You can have more fun saying no with a smile on your face

[Open Eyes]

I think that you would be wise to not play his game to be honest. He just wants admiration from everyone, all about HIS ego. That takes too much negetive brain power. It is wiser to put the brain power into someone who is straight forward and worthy of building a relationship with. He is what one would call "HIGH MAINTENANCE" watch out for those that are all about themselves. You have to be in the relationship too. He is a sandcastle kicker, not someone that you could build a neat sandcastle with.

Open Eyes

[Sheba976]

Originally Posted by ShootingStars

Thank you all for your advice!
I'm gonna let it go. He's no good for me and I deserve a guy who treats me well and makes me feel I'm worth it no more whiplashes from his moodswings!

Good for you. I think everyone has been down this road at some point. If your questioning someone's intentions right away you will never trust him. You will turn into his fall back girl because he knows your into him.

[ShootingStars]

Yeah, you're all right.
I thought it was about his ego since he kept asking: do you still like me?? And I never gave him a straight answer actually, cuz it's a stupid thing to ask.

And indeed, I will have more fun saying no with a big smile on my face

[Gothgirl7]

I had a guy do the same thing to me before. He never changed even after his empty promises. Could you trust him again? Do you think he's genuine? When guys play games it can send you mad. It's such a waste of time and effort. I completely cut mine right off. It was better in The long run.