[Lifeistrulyaride]

Okay..this is titled..relationships and communication..and although this is not about a significant other..it's about my mother..and my situation that I need advice on.

When I was younger before my sister was born..I used to attend therapy..I don't remember what it was for..but I know I did..I guess I'd have to ask my mother about that. I have a few problems. My sister is mentally unstable. She's bipolar..autistic..and a few other psychological disorders. My mother..I believe her to be bipolar as well. She's not diagnosed but the way she treats me is enough proof for me to be careful with what I say or do. We sometimes get along and other times..not so much. But her and my sister go to therapy..and my sister's additional therapeutic schooling costs a lot..because she is also a truant..and refuses to attend the regular school. With all of my sister's mess..social workers galore..cops..case workers..DYFS..the whole nine yards..my mom never really understands why I come to her when I need help. She tells me that I'm old enough to just "deal with it." That my situation isn't important because she doesn't need additional stress added onto her..she "already has enough with my sister."

I can be very reserved and shy..but I feel like when I do try and talk to her about something it's overlooked..and almost laughed at. For example...if I feel sick and say I need to see a doctor..she says it's probably just allergies and not to worry about it..when in reality I had strep throat or the flu. Because of these moments in my life where I almost feel rejected by her when I have sought help..it has made me hesitate with what I most need..

I think I need therapy..really bad.. I need someone to talk to about my problems and concerns about myself who will believe me and not think I'm fabricating things just to "get attention."

My question..if any of you read this far down..is how to approach my mother to ask for this help.. my mother does not know I have repressed memories of sexual abuse..my mother does not know I suffer from constant nightmares..and my mother does not know that I have experienced night terrors. My mother is the kind of woman to think that I am the kind of girl that thinks there is "always something wrong with me." I just don't know how to approach her to ask for help...I feel like she's just going to push me aside like she always does and say that financially we can't afford to help you right now. God bless whoever replies to this...

[Leed]

I'm so sorry! I know well how it feels to be "overlooked" at home. I was one of 4 girls -- I was the 3rd one, and we girls were just "there" kind of like the furniture was. We could never talk to our folks cause they were drunk a good share of the time.

You deserve to be heard! I know your Mom is busy with your sister, but darn it you're entitled to her time too! Some evening, ask her if the two of you can sit down and have a serious talk. Tell her that there are some things that you really need to tell her. (Does she know about the sexual abuse? Who did it and were they reported?) Then just tell her what you NEED to have her know! And don't let anyone interrupt you! If you have to, take the phone off the hook! Make this time YOURS. And tell her that you feel you're being pushed aside (after you've told her everything else).

It won't be as hard as you think it will. Once you get started, it will go well. It's just the thinking about it that's difficult. I wish you the very best -- God bless, and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[Lifeistrulyaride]

Originally Posted by Leed

I'm so sorry! I know well how it feels to be "overlooked" at home. I was one of 4 girls -- I was the 3rd one, and we girls were just "there" kind of like the furniture was. We could never talk to our folks cause they were drunk a good share of the time.

You deserve to be heard! I know your Mom is busy with your sister, but darn it you're entitled to her time too! Some evening, ask her if the two of you can sit down and have a serious talk. Tell her that there are some things that you really need to tell her. (Does she know about the sexual abuse? Who did it and were they reported?) Then just tell her what you NEED to have her know! And don't let anyone interrupt you! If you have to, take the phone off the hook! Make this time YOURS. And tell her that you feel you're being pushed aside (after you've told her everything else).

It won't be as hard as you think it will. Once you get started, it will go well. It's just the thinking about it that's difficult. I wish you the very best -- God bless, and please take care. Hugs, Lee

Yeah sitting back and thinking about it has been really difficult for me..just her reaction to it all..her blowing it off like it's nothing, I guess that's what is making me so anxious.

I'm a little to shy and uncomfortable to even consult my mom in person so I just sent her an email...and it took me a good hour to hit the send button...My mom does not know that I have repressed memories of sexual abuse..I don't know the abuser because I have repressed it..I just have flashbacks and nightmares/night terrors from it..and I have gone through some other bizarre behaviors as well. This is what I sent:

Hi,
I have a question that I'm not really comfortable asking you in person. What was I in therapy for back when I was younger? Because I feel like for years I have been going through things that should be re-addressed in that kind of setting. I'd also appreciate it if you kept this confidential..and would not bring this up with dad..or any other family member that I am asking you this. I know you have a lot to deal with, with Max and all of his problems but I've been keeping things that I have had to deal with in for a long time and I don't think that's fair anymore.

Thanks,
Drew.