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  #1  
Old Mar 31, 2012, 10:51 AM
KitChan KitChan is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2011
Location: Singapore
Posts: 20
There's this guy in my class. He's fairly outgoing and friendly to everyone BUT ME. For lectures we have fixed seating so fate had landed seats next to each other. When I try to speaking to him, he avoids eye contact and just shrugs non-commitally saying "I don't know" depending on the situation.

During lectures, I would see him staring at my notes or my hands. I can't tell which. Until recently he would come to me out of nowhere and make small talk. But even that's very rare. He speaks freely and jokes around with the other girls in my class but is so cold to me

I don't think I did anything to make him 'angry'. I barely know him well since he barely acknowledges my presence.

I catch him staring at me at times in the cafeteria. We make eye-contact and I usually look away first. Then when I look again a few minutes later, we make eye contact yet again.

He's my lab partner too. Just last week I burned my fingers by accident and all he could do is stare. I had to ask him politely to help me. He didn't even ask me if I was alright. The people (including guys) all around me asked but he kept quiet. Another guy who sits 3 rows away came over to ask if I was alright but Mr.High and Mighty just keeps quiet. Don't take it as I'm over-reacting but if he's 'the sweetest guy'
in class as the other girls say, he's most defintely not living up to that title.

What the heck is going on in his mind?! The other girls find him sweet and friendly, i think he's a jerk.

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  #2  
Old Mar 31, 2012, 12:43 PM
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Leed Leed is offline
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Location: Michigan
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Actually, it sounds to me like he LIKES you but is intimidated by you for some reason. I think he's afraid to talk to you -- perhaps cause he might think he'll say the wrong thing, or else he won't know WHAT to say. LOL I think he's got a crush on you.

I'm sure he's not trying to be a jerk. The poor kid just doesn't know what to talk to you about. So why not help him out? I'll bet he'll open up after awhile -- but right now he's scared to death. Good luck & take care. Hugs, Lee
Hugs from:
KitChan
Thanks for this!
KitChan
  #3  
Old Mar 31, 2012, 03:50 PM
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Trippin2.0 Trippin2.0 is offline
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LOL, I agree with Leed. Sounds like he has a major crush on you. And if he's friendly to other girls he must be very confused about his behaviour around you. Speak to him, lead the convo till he finds his feet, but keep him engaged. Choose a topic you know he's well versed in, so he won't feel intimidated and ask for his opinion so that 'I don't know' isn't a possible answer
Thanks for this!
KitChan
  #4  
Old Mar 31, 2012, 04:03 PM
hoping4best hoping4best is offline
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I think he's aware that you give him too much attention. I've been through a similar situation and i made a fool of myself by daydreaming that the guy acted like this because he liked me. Well, he didnt. And as soon as he noticed me staring at him/checking him out casually, he became more and more ignorant. This guy might be sweet and nice for other girls, but if he isnt the same for you too then he is not going to change that. U have told that u have tried to make conservation with him before which didnt work. My suggestion would be to just forget about this guy.
Thanks for this!
KitChan
  #5  
Old Mar 31, 2012, 04:38 PM
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Cotton ball Cotton ball is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2012
Posts: 237
Awwww,
He's get a crush. Next time you see him just smile brightly and say Hi! Maybe that will break the ice and losen him up a little.
If he still ignores you just blow it off...but I'de try being nice first. He could just be really shy torwards you.
Thanks for this!
KitChan
  #6  
Old Mar 31, 2012, 05:30 PM
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redbull redbull is offline
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Posts: 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by hoping4best View Post
I think he's aware that you give him too much attention. I've been through a similar situation and i made a fool of myself by daydreaming that the guy acted like this because he liked me. Well, he didnt. And as soon as he noticed me staring at him/checking him out casually, he became more and more ignorant. This guy might be sweet and nice for other girls, but if he isnt the same for you too then he is not going to change that. U have told that u have tried to make conservation with him before which didnt work. My suggestion would be to just forget about this guy.
I agree with 4best. I don't think he's shy, I think he's being a jerk. I wonder how the guy would react if you were to give him the cold shoulder for a while. He would be like.."what? A girl who doesn't like me?!!" (sorry, just my opinion..I know it sounds awful)
Thanks for this!
KitChan
  #7  
Old Mar 31, 2012, 09:47 PM
KitChan KitChan is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2011
Location: Singapore
Posts: 20
Wow. One side is telling me he's just a jerk and another telling me it's a crush...

Thanks everyone for your views/advice! ^_^
  #8  
Old Mar 31, 2012, 10:29 PM
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Winter Moon Winter Moon is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2010
Location: Near Seattle, Washington
Posts: 189
Perhaps he's just uncomfortable with all the attention, as well.
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What is he thinking? Does he hate me? What is he thinking? Does he hate me? What is he thinking? Does he hate me?
  #9  
Old Apr 01, 2012, 10:09 AM
Anonymous32723
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I apologize if my opinion sounds blunt but...

Does it really matter? Why do you care so much? My recommendation: Go about your studies and your life. What this guy thinks of you, doesn't really matter.
  #10  
Old Apr 01, 2012, 10:24 AM
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Perna Perna is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 27,289
If you would like to get to know him better, I would ask him things he can't shrug about or "not know" and when he looks at you across a room, I'd smile and maybe give a little wave instead of looking away.

I cannot picture the burned hand thing with a zillion people asking if you're all right and you "had to ask him for help". Why did you not get help from the others? If you kept telling everyone you were okay, he would have heard that; he isn't psychic knowing you need help with a particular task and it would be condescending of him to ask or try to help you if you just said you were okay and refused other people's help.

Sounds like you are not communicating with him clearly and just trying to guess about him from what you would do or think or say or imagine you would feel (wondering whether you have done something to make him angry). If you are interested in him (like it sounds to me because of all the attention you are giving him, noticing who he is talking to, etc.) then make that clear? You cannot know what he is thinking/feeling and you are in direct contact with us; our guesses are even that much more removed.
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  #11  
Old Apr 04, 2012, 12:14 PM
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Irreplaceable Irreplaceable is offline
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Girl, he LIKES you. He is avoiding you because he is intimidated by you and because he likes you. Making small talk, eye contact, mute when he is close to you...
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To live is to suffer, and to survive is to find meaning in that suffering
  #12  
Old Apr 05, 2012, 02:11 PM
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lido78 lido78 is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2011
Location: East Coast
Posts: 302
My recommendation (which is just about the same for most situations) is to just be yourself. You sound like a normal, friendly girl with a sensitive side. I don't think that you've done anything wrong so, if you're comfortable continuing to be friendly with him, then do so...but try to feel more at ease with the fact that you've done nothing wrong. If you feel more relaxed, then I bet he will feel relaxed too. This should work out for either situation (i.e., whether he likes you or is annoyed by the attention that you give him). Not everyone communicates in the same way or communicates with different people in the same way (different combinations just have different energy)...just take a deep breath, smile and be yourself.
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