[doggiedo]

My bf's apartment complex doesn't allow dogs, but when I had one dog, he invite dme over all the time and we snuck him in. Now that I have two dogs, I haven't been there once yet.

This weekend he invited me and the dogs. Then, I bring the dogs over and I noticed him rolling his eyes and stuff when I said I had to take the dogs out before we went out to dinner, etc. Basically he said "everything revolves around your dogs. I never get to see you b/c my apt doesn't allow dogs." So he basically invited me over and then said that he resented my dogs. The conversation let into "we don't see each other that often any; I was the one that wanted to move in together 6 months ago so we could see each other more..."

I didn't stay there - he had to go to his daughter's school play (which I was going to go with him). I told him that I don't feel comfortable being there this weekend - that I didn't feel welcome and didn't want to leave my dogs there.

I'm not sure where we stand. I'm not sure what to do - I'm so offended. I'm also hurt, a lot. I divorced 2 years ago and my dogs are my family...

There's a saying that goes:

Love Me, Love My Dogs ...

I wouldn't be too comfortable with anyone who wanted me to choose them over my beloved pets ...

It ain't right ...

[doggiedo]

I know - I feel offended, a little.

I was supposed to stay over his house and volunteer at a 5k (which he is running in) tomorrow. I emailed the woman and cancelled. I hate, hate, hate to cancel on a committment especially at this late point in time, but it doesn't feel right.

I am also supposed to go with his mom to a church dinner. Again, I don't want to cancel, but I really don't want to go. I kinda want out.

[unaluna]

i'm sorry, but the minute someone rolled his eyes at me, I would be out of there. they recently did a study of couples, and the best predictor of which couples would still be together in a year, was if there was any eye-rolling going on! they said it showed the person's true feelings, not in a good way.

[doggiedo]

We've been together for 10 months and that's the first time he's done it.

I also called him on it - so I didn't let it go. He rolled his eyes when I was eating dinner (I had 5 min to eat before we poked out the door) and asked him if he wouldn't mind letting the dog out before we go.

I guess frustrations have to pile up sometime, but it's the way we communicate those frustrations. He did say a few things under his breath that I asked him about. He didn't disclose what he said. Whatever...

[Confusedinomicon]

Maybe you two need to have a heart to heart. It seems like one or both you are not having your needs met. Maybe figuring out what you are expecting now from one another would help. Also knowing his opinion on dogs and what is and isnt negotiable for you guys. That way you can look and see if your compatible and willing to make compromises.

[doggiedo]

I feel exhausted when I think of talking to him. I honestly think I just want to call it quits. If I loved him enough I'd want to work it out and talk to him about my concerns, right?

[Fresia]

I wish the expression "love me, love my dogs" happened but I can't always expect that, but "respect me and what I love", absolutely, and neither from what you describe are happening. A good heart to heart would be necessary for peace of mind, and to figure out where this is going or to know if things have run their course. I know it isn't easy and wishing you the best as you move forward.

Originally Posted by doggiedo

I feel exhausted when I think of talking to him. I honestly think I just want to call it quits. If I loved him enough I'd want to work it out and talk to him about my concerns, right?

Hmm ... I'm no expert or anything, but real relationships - while having their ups and downs - shouldn't exhaust us ... Maybe the relationship has simply run it's course and y'all've come upon the proverbial fork in the road?

I dunno ... Again, I'm not an expert, but I do know if someone offered me an ultimatum such as It's me or my pets, I'd take the pets ... They're more loyal and trustworty in my humble opinion ...

I'm sorry you're having this struggle ... It's never a fun place to be and I know you'll eventually get it all sorted out and make the right decision ...

[xraydiva09]

Well you could always see how your dogs act around him....they are the best judge lol.....

[doggiedo]

He knows and loves my dogs. He said he was just frustrated, kinda how things can get overwhelming and he took it out on my dogs. I guess I can understand that.

These dogs are my family.

[Perna]

It does seem strange (to me) that one would take one's dogs on a date. He wants to see you, not the dogs, they're just icing on the cake, they're not supposed to be part of the main meal. He can see the dogs when he comes to your place or meets you at the dog park.

If you are that attached to the dogs, you are not ready for a long-term relationship with another human. They're pets; not children, family, other anthropomorphized beings, and we love them but. . . our people should come first.

[doggiedo]

Oh maybe I misspoke. I was going to stay at his place for the weekend which is over an hour away. That's the only reason why I took them with me.

[Scotty204]

For me it's a package deal, my puppy comes along or see you later

[John25]

Is this really about the dogs or is it about the concerns you had already about the relationship? It seems odd to me that you don't feel like discussing it with him. Yes, maybe the relationship has run its course. Or maybe you have a hard time dealing with open conversations about what each others expectations are in the relationship?

Originally Posted by doggiedo

I feel exhausted when I think of talking to him. I honestly think I just want to call it quits. If I loved him enough I'd want to work it out and talk to him about my concerns, right?