[madisgram]

can relate a lot with this article. it takes couage to change and find more fulfilling relationships. hope this may help some of you too who struggle.

In my practice as a Life Therapist & Communications Strategist, I see time and time again that what people say they want is often incongruent with their behavior. Clients say they want a loving partnership, yet stay in a relationship that consistently leaves them unhappy. Clients report they are unhappy in their jobs, yet remain, succumbing to energy-draining emotional abuse that often bleeds into their personal lives and relationships. People complain they want to lose weight, but then mindlessly eat everything on their plates. So just why do we stay in unfulfilling relationships of all sorts indefinitely?
Fear. Sure, there are a multitude of reasons why people stay in unhappy situations, but it usually can be simplified to some variation of fear that keeps us securely anchored to our discontent. Often that fear is the fear of change itself.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...tionships-jobs

[sunrise]

Definitely agree on the fear thing. Fear is the reason I stayed in my bad marriage for so long. My therapist and I worked on that. Finally I was able to leave. Somehow I couldn't do it without professional help. Too scared. I didn't even know that fear was at the heart of it. I had to unearth that first in therapy before I could move forward.

[Silverdawg]

[quote=madisgram;2316439]can relate a lot with this article. it takes couage to change and find more fulfilling relationships. hope this may help some of you too who struggle

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I agree fear of the change in itself, the unknown as many here im sure realize can hold disastrous consequences but may also hold that beautiful rainbow at the end, in so contemplating the disaster we, .......... freeze ourselves immobile because its not what we consider safe

[Nicks_Nose]

I have developed Avoidant Personality Disroderr because of fear. Fear of rejection or judgment, so I avoid the environment or social scene. However, I stayed in a job that was constantly assessing my every call I took from customers and they were failing me constantly. I finally had to leave for medical purposes. I stayed in that job for a year due to fear of loss of income. Loss of income is a big fear for people remaining in a job not suited to them.

[StrongerMan]

I had a job that often crushed me physically and mentally. But I couldn't escape due to the fear of losing income as well as the fear of failure and not being good enough in something else. Then I was hurt on the job and was able to escape and still receive an income... workers compensation. This won't last forever and it has taken a toll on my identity and self esteem. Now I am still fighting the fear of rejection and failure and isolating from friends which makes breaking through the fears even harder. I struggle figuring out where I fit and finding direction and honestly fear I never will. I fear I'll be stuck in another soul crushing job with an unsympathetic, overbearing boss. I am procrastinating to avoid confronting this fear.

I also fear new relationships because I feel they will judge me harshly for being unemployed and my living situation which is currently with elderly parents. But I feel lonely.

I am finally going back for therapy to deal with my ACoA issues and overcome these fears. Happiness seems so close yet miles away. Sigh...