My Mother Converses From Other Room

My mother doesn't enter the same room as the person she wishes to have a conversation with. She just talks away even though I'm in another room, or even not there at all. Then she holds me responsible for knowing what she said as if we had a conversation. She'll take action henceforth based on my assumed receipt of the message. If I say "What?", she'll just repeat herself from wherever she happens to be rather than entering the room that I'm currently in, then get angry at me for saying "What?" Although I can usually hear much of what she's saying, I still say "what" to try and get her to walk into the room that I'm currently in so we can have a conversation.

Also, she inevitably asks me a question, and if I try yelling an answer across the house, she'll say "What?" or get mad because I'm shouting. And she's hard of hearing and doesn't wear a hearing aid, so I usually have to repeat myself a few times even when we're in the same room.

It's always been like this since I can remember, but it's like living in Carol Burnett skit although I don't remember Eunice talking from the other side of the door.

Whenever there's any annoyance expressed on my part, she'll always identify the assumed "real" source of the "grumpiness", such as "Did you have a boring day?" or "I know you're frustrated about such and such", in other words, she can never be the "real" cause of anyone else's agitation.

Why not sit her down and tell her the truth? Just tell her that it's difficult to carry on a conversation when she's talking from another room! Tell her that EVERYONE talks to people when they're in the same room. LOL Also mention that you've noticed that her hearing isn't as good as it used to be and she should get it checked, as you often have to repeat yourself and it can be annoying to BOTH of you.

You may want to word this differently, but just tell her the truth. I wouldn't want to try to carry on a conversation with someone in another room either! That would drive me NUTS. (or in my case, nuttier) She may forget from time to time since she's been doing this forever -- just remind her. She sounds like a reasonable woman.

I wish you the best of luck! God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee

I have a confession to make! My 2nd husband once pointed out to me that I would wait until he got up to walk out of the room, then I would start talking to him. Honestly, I thought it was more convenient for him, that this way I wasn't interrupting his reading or whatever. But he was on his way to doing something else, and felt that while he was in the room with me, that was my cue to talk. But that wasn't how I was raised - my family didn't want to be bothered by me while they were reading or watching TV.

On the other hand, is mammy doing chores that you could be helping her with? This could be her way of hinting (sorry, i'm old!)

I have already explained to her many times that I can only hold conversations with people in the same room, but it's just the way she is. And she doesn't want a hearing aid because of the expense, even though I told her that she could get one cheaply at the non-profit clinic, and she claims it makes your hearing even worse. It's not really an issue with regards to chores or simple, one-sentence, announcements.

Anyways, these "conversations" with her in another room where I can't see her, it's like conversing with a ghost, and she talks the same as my deceased grandmother, so in a way, it is.

Sounds like you're caught between a rock and a hard place. If she won't stop, I guess your only choice is to go where SHE is -- as annoying as that may be. I'm getting older myself (just turned 63) and I hope if I get like that my family will shoot me). LOL I know I can be annoying and I try to correct my idiocyncracies -- but I'm sure I still drive them nuts.

I know it's gotta be frustrating to you. I wish I had an answer for you. She seems pretty 'set' in her ways and you seem to have done everything to get her to change.

You might have a talk with her doctor about her hearing -- maybe he can put a 'bug' in her ear about the newer hearing aids that do NOT make things worse! These new ones are great -- they aren't like the old ones that just about blew your ear drums out. they don't have the background noise anymore -- they're just like 'regular' hearing! Just a thought. Best of luck & God bless. Hugs, Lee