[jta9design]

Hello All!

I thought since my fiancée and I attend couples counseling each and every week, why not share some of what I learn there with others? I know not everyone is able to seek out this form of help, but wish they could. Thus, when I learn something else, I will continue to post my learnings. As long as I'm allowed to ;-)

I just learned some wonderful advice through our couple's counselor, have put that advice to action and am having amazing results! The most recent discussion my fiancée and I had with our counselor was about how lethargic and lazy my fiancée tends to be 99.99% of the time. He suffers severely from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), and has been using sleep as a way of escaping reality and traveling to the past in his dreams to visit his fallen comrades. However, when he is spending more time sleeping than he is living a normal, healthy daily life, then I have a problem.

When I approached our counselor about these said concerns and actions, she came up with a very simple and effective solution. "Your relationship seems to be very chaotic and unstructured, so I suggest you create a schedule." Wow! Why didn't I think of that?!

After discussing this "schedule" with the counselor and my fiancée, we came to a very clear and workable understanding. It was things like:

1: If he needs a nap in the afternoon, then he needs to be up at a specific time every morning.

2: Depending on his sleep or lack there of the night before will determine whether he naps for one or two hours.

3: If he had a good night's rest, then he will not nap in the afternoon but instead will go to bed by 9:00 PM that night.

4: The TV is to be shut off by 10:00 PM every night, no exceptions.

Etc. Etc. Etc. I'm sure you see where this is going ;-) Those are just some examples of what we included in the daily schedule. And believe you me, life has been so much smoother and bearable since we were given this advice. To anyone coping with these same issues, I highly recommend an agreed upon schedule between you and your special other. Good luck!