No friends

I have no one here to call on as a friend. I have a motorcycle and I had to take it in for a tuneup. I had to rack my brain to think of who I could ask for a ride. I have no one. I dropped the bike off and am waiting for a freaking cab. What a loser I feel like. I have no one.

I have no words of wisdom, but I can tell you that you are not the only one in this situation. I am what I call a 'nice to meet you' friend. I do absolutely wonderful meeting someone for the first time. Great engaging converstion, etc. However, the next time our paths cross I find myself shying away, being short, or completely ignoring. Needless to say, I have no friends.

Hopefully you will find a way not to follow my path and find your place within your friends. Someone, trying to help me, once said "to have good friends, you need to be a good friend" Even now, I try to remember that.

(((hugs))))

You would here DD. We could go for a tour. What kind of ride you have? My van is sitting because i can't afford to run both it and my bike this year. I had to get a bloody cab to the service centre and back to pick up a new battery. I've been pretty solitary because of some personal stuff and all my friends are just casual aquaintances now. My family is in another province too so no breaks right? I couldn't call anyone up. Makes me feel pretty damned alone sometimes. Mind you I'd give a lift or a hand to anyone even if they weren't a close friend but I can't ask anything of anyone. Pain in the *** living like that. Safe riding my friend. Enjoy that to the max!

And say hi anytime doggiedo. i'll see you about here maybe. Hellos to Spirit too from her faraway friend.

Spirit - good quote - to have good friends you need to be one. I feel like I always find reasons why I don't want to be friends with people (like coworkers). I find something annoying about them, or even more accurate - I feel they don't like me. You don't have anyone you can talk to?

Quick - thanks for the support. What kind of bike do you have?

It's amazing how much we rely on other people, even for simple things...no matter how much we want to issolate and/or want to prove our independence.

I am sorry for your loneliness and sadness. I am assuming by your logo by your name you possibly have pets. If you don't take the first available opportunity to get one they will help fill the emptiness with undieing love and affection you are seeking. Also are there any clubs or groups you could participate in to help give you better options of meeting more people?

Keep a stiff upper lip! We're here for you!

I am same way Doggie, I either catch a shuttle if they offer it or walk home and back to pick it up. i know it sucks

I moved 2100 miles away when I separated from my husband to a place where I didn't know anyone. Both my parents had died. My daughter had moved to another state. The trauma I had gone through in California kept haunting me & my marriage had been bad for 33 years, so it was time to move & try to start my life over.

I got involved in all the things that interests me, horses, horses, horses & Bible studies along with church. In no time, I found many friends that I would do things for & who when I needed help, I could ask for it easier since I had already done things for them. I am definitely one that doesn't like to ask for help with anything, so living alone & having things break that need to be fixed & no money to hire it fixed has been a challenge.

Had to laugh one time....the pipe running from the wall to my toilet sprung a leak that I found long after it happened. Water from my master bedroom, into the down stairs bathroom & into the basement. Smart enough to shut off the water going into the toilet.....bought the hose to replace it, but didn't have the strength to get it disconnected. Several months later, 3 guys from church were on a help fix it day for several others in the church & came to help fix my toilet. It took all 3 of them working on my toilet hose to get it loosened up so it could be changed. I didn't feel so helpless after that.

I also had a problem getting my medication & needed to drive to the next town to their pharmacy to pick it up that month. It was the end of the month & I was out of money & out of gas except for enough to get myself to the gas station but not way over to the other town. I had done a favor for a friend with my horse trailer.....I asked her if at her convenience she could take me to the pharmacy. I find that trading favors is the best way to keep friends being friends. Never allow myself to feel like I'm using anyone even though I'm not as sensitive to whether they are using me....but luckily, none of my friends here have ever made me even feel remotely that way.

Personally, I first try to find the independent way to take care of myself & only in an emergency do I ask my friends for a favor.....that's also the best way to keep friends not feeling imposed upon.

I remember the first year I moved here. We had an ice storm, I didn't know many people yet. My prescription finally got approved & was sitting in the pharmacy. The windshield of my truck had an inch of ice on it that I chipped a little hole in to see through & tried to get out of my driveway to drive to town 10 miles away. I managed to cut my turn too sharp, ran over my mail box. When I backed up, my truck slid off my driveway & into the ditch in which the tires just spun even in 4x4. Without my meds, I was looking at going into withdrawal. Even though it wasn't something that would kill me, I lived alone with 6 dogs & my neighbor's horses to care for & withdrawal wasn't something I wanted to deal with just as we lost electricity for almost a week. I was feeling a panic. Not knowing anyone to call for help & then in the ice storm, no one was going anywhere anyway. I decided to walk out to the road & try to flag down the first auto heading toward town. A red truck came along....flagged it down & it was my pharmacist heading into work. He wasn't going to be coming home until 10pm that night, but I felt that was better than not getting my meds for longer than that. About an hour later, I got a knock on my door. Another neighboring farm owner had been in town getting a prescription for his wife & my pharmacist gave him my meds to drop off at my farm. In small towns, sometimes people I don't even know have stepped up to assist me with things when I really need help. It is definitely very different than the Los Angeles California area I lived in all my life.

I've been told how important it is for me to ask for help when I need it because people can't read my mind & usually when I ask, something can usually be worked out somehow with someone.

With my truck servicing, I usually just take a good book or something to work on & sit in the waiting room while they work on my truck....I can usually sit in the waiting room just as easy as sitting at home waiting.

I know how you feel. I don't have many friends either. In fact lately I'm so crazy and depressed and psychotic the only "friends" i have are therapists who I pay to just sit and talk to me for an hour.

I also have the problems with friends. The ones I do have live at least a hour away.

One thing you might try is meetup.com. You can find a group of people who have the same interest as you do in your area.

Give it a try. I'm shy also but I met the ladies in one group who welcomed me to their group. Groups are always looking for new people.

Yep, that's me. Seems I'm always finding fault. I've been told (and actually believe) that what we see in others is just a reflection of ourselves. So, in that case, I do believe the reason I find such fault in the people I cross paths with, is because these are the faults that ultimately lie within myself. <sigh> so much for being perfect!

As far as people to talk to nope, nobody. Someone else here mentioned paying therapist to have someone to talk to and that is exactly what I did once. Even told her that during our first session. Something like " i have no friends, i need to talk, so my insurance is going to pay you to listen" Sheesh, would love to see what she wrote on that little piece of paper that day! lol

Keep on coming back though. Seems a lot of us are in the same boat.

Is it happening from your childhood or you jst lost your friends recently?

I am sorry to hear that you have no friends. I have a few close friends that were hard to earn respect from, but they take me as I am. Coworkers are just that. They can be friends, but for the most part they want to keep to themselves. On the other hand a friendship can develop within the confines of work. But I never made a good close friend while in a job. Now that I am retired I find it easier to make friends and keep them, but it takes work to keep a friendship going. Try to start making friends with yourself. That is the first step in developing any relationship. I wish the best for you in the future.

Chrissy Michelle

In order to have friends, we have to reach out and be a friend.

I know how you feel...I have no friends either. My husband is my only friend and I've pushed him away because of my mental issues. Now I'm alone again.

You are not a loser because you lack friends. Some of the worst monsters in history had very full social lives.

Like you, I have a lot of trouble in the social department. I think it's because I lack skills and experience socially. I think it is because I have fears and anxieties that get in the way. Mainly, I think it is because I just don't really believe it is worth the effort - which I think is a bad way I've gotten used to thinking. Maybe some of that could apply to you. My heart goes out to you. I know the pain of what you are describing.

I think you and I have the potential to have friends. But I also think that, for us, it will require an awful lot more work than it takes for most people. That's so unfair, but that's how it is.

How strange that so many people, myself included, have no friends in their lives. I guess that is why we turn to online relationships. I, for one, find it comforting to have someone get to know me through text rather than sight - it prevents many of the first impressions that seem to be detrimental to my finding new friends. I also get nervous and tend to say stupid things, but in text I can read and re-read until I'm comfortable with what I've said I feel like I can be more myself in this way, and perhaps it will be the same for you. It already appears that the above posters are willing to reach out to you, so I do not believe there is anything non-friend-worthy in you or anyone else here. Don't feel like a loser. If you are, then all of us are too :P And if we all are, so what! "Different strokes for different folks," as they say. Too bad I can't get my in-laws to realize this :P All the best, and I agree with whomever said to get a pet. It will be the best decision you've ever made ~SA