[Keifer]

I find it very hard to make proper friendships. I don't know why maybe it's just me but I find it very hard to trust people. I've had loads of people in my life come and go and I can only say that I've one true friend, although I haven't seen him in months. I found when I was younger I had lots of friends but since leaving school I seem to have lost them all. That was 9yrs ago. I think I have lost the ability to spark up new friendships......maybe also I'm just afraid of rejection. Can anyone relate to this?

[LovelaceF]

I can definitely relate. *hugs*

[Keifer]

Thanks Lovelace back

[LovelaceF]

So, what might have happened since you left school that made it difficult for you to trust people?

Originally Posted by Keifer

I find it very hard to make proper friendships. I don't know why maybe it's just me but I find it very hard to trust people. I've had loads of people in my life come and go and I can only say that I've one true friend, although I haven't seen him in months. I found when I was younger I had lots of friends but since leaving school I seem to have lost them all. That was 9yrs ago. I think I have lost the ability to spark up new friendships......maybe also I'm just afraid of rejection. Can anyone relate to this?

I can relate very much , my best and only friend passed away a year and six months ago. I have always had problems with trusting others. When I was in college I made friends and it meant so much to me. Since then they have moved on. Being here in the forums has been positive for me, as I have never met such a group of compassionate and caring people.
warm thoughts

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Keifer

I found when I was younger I had lots of friends but since leaving school I seem to have lost them all. That was 9yrs ago.

Why don't you at least try to revive those lost friendships?

I do not have your problem, but still, my best and closest friendships are with people I met in adolescence, and I now put a lot of effort into maintaining these friendships, because I find them the most valuable and enduring friendships.

Also, it is probably easier to revive the former friendships than to find new people and build new friendships from scratch.

[Keifer]

Originally Posted by LovelaceF

So, what might have happened since you left school that made it difficult for you to trust people?

I'm not sure. Left school and I was going out with a girl at the time who was very controlling. It's during that relationship that I lost contact with everyone. I'm not blaming Her at all I blame myself for letting that happen to me. I guess I lack self confidence in a big way also.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Keifer

I'm not sure. Left school and I was going out with a girl at the time who was very controlling. It's during that relationship that I lost contact with everyone.

Make a list of people whom you dropped out of your circle of friends and make a plan to contact them, one by one. Hopefully a large enough percentage of them will respond.

I really think that you need to do that BEFORE you attempt to seek out new people as friends.

[Keifer]

Thanks hamster...... I will try that.