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  #1  
Old Mar 30, 2006, 02:43 PM
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BlueFaith BlueFaith is offline
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My little sister (20 years old) is in a relationship with a man that our family believes is married. He lived in Michigan and moved here to Tennessee after his mother died so he could be close to his father and cousins. Well, he met my sister and they started dating about 3 or 4 months ago. They are now engaged to be married. But the thing is that all of his cousins have told my sister that he is already married to a woman in Michigan. He denies this, and my sister believes him. But he also has a womans name tattooed on the back of his neck.... and he swears that "Becka" (the name on his neck) is his deceased grandmother. Our whole family has tried to get her to dig a little deeper just to see if he's telling the truth about not being married, but she refuses to do so. He couldn't even get his income tax return because he had already filed with someone else in Michigan. My sister keeps getting calls from a woman saying that she's his wife. That would be enough to make me want to find out for sure. But I'm not her, and I can't make her decisions. Maybe she doesn't want to find out. Maybe she's scared of what might be the truth. Who knows. He's been caught in many lies since he has been seeing her, and he calls her fat and stupid all the time. My Sister's Boyfriend But my question is this. Should I keep on asking her to find out more about him, or should I just back off and let her find out the hard way? I'm very concerned about her, and I don't want her to be hurt. But I don't want her to think I am trying to run her life, either. Any suggestions?
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  #2  
Old Mar 30, 2006, 02:43 PM
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BlueFaith BlueFaith is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2005
Location: Earth
Posts: 4,367
My little sister (20 years old) is in a relationship with a man that our family believes is married. He lived in Michigan and moved here to Tennessee after his mother died so he could be close to his father and cousins. Well, he met my sister and they started dating about 3 or 4 months ago. They are now engaged to be married. But the thing is that all of his cousins have told my sister that he is already married to a woman in Michigan. He denies this, and my sister believes him. But he also has a womans name tattooed on the back of his neck.... and he swears that "Becka" (the name on his neck) is his deceased grandmother. Our whole family has tried to get her to dig a little deeper just to see if he's telling the truth about not being married, but she refuses to do so. He couldn't even get his income tax return because he had already filed with someone else in Michigan. My sister keeps getting calls from a woman saying that she's his wife. That would be enough to make me want to find out for sure. But I'm not her, and I can't make her decisions. Maybe she doesn't want to find out. Maybe she's scared of what might be the truth. Who knows. He's been caught in many lies since he has been seeing her, and he calls her fat and stupid all the time. My Sister's Boyfriend But my question is this. Should I keep on asking her to find out more about him, or should I just back off and let her find out the hard way? I'm very concerned about her, and I don't want her to be hurt. But I don't want her to think I am trying to run her life, either. Any suggestions?
__________________
"There are things we need to forget and forgive,
Sometimes we have to try and shed the damage we don't need."
Silverchair- All Across The World
  #3  
Old Mar 30, 2006, 05:17 PM
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bebop bebop is offline
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wow a tough one....if you can intercept one of those phone calls from the "wife" I would ask her to send a copy of the marriage license or call Michigan and get a copy and ask them if there was a divorce for them. it is public record so should not be hard to find. Good luck..also tell your sister if he is really married and she "marries" him he can go to prison for bigamy
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  #4  
Old Mar 30, 2006, 05:17 PM
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bebop bebop is offline
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wow a tough one....if you can intercept one of those phone calls from the "wife" I would ask her to send a copy of the marriage license or call Michigan and get a copy and ask them if there was a divorce for them. it is public record so should not be hard to find. Good luck..also tell your sister if he is really married and she "marries" him he can go to prison for bigamy
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  #5  
Old Apr 01, 2006, 12:44 AM
Lexicon78 Lexicon78 is offline
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Well, I think the best thing, although very painful, is to let your sister make her own decisions and her own mistakes. She's not gonna learn any other way.

She sounds pretty stubborn. I'm extremely stubborn and know that someone with my stubbornness will not listen to anyone else, no matter how well they mean. She needs to make her own decisions.

Hang in there.
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  #6  
Old Apr 01, 2006, 09:22 AM
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if you know what county he's from, you can call the court clerk and get a copy of his marriage license/divorce. if you truly fear for her safety with him, hand her the papers....

she could learn from this but she could also get into something deeper than she imagines. good luck..you're a good sister to be concerned. xoxox pat
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