Feel alone when living away from family?

This is probably a normal part of growing up, but it's been on my mind lately.

I have a really nice and loving family that I'm very close with. When I move out on my own eventually, it seems like it's going to be really lonely not being around people that love me, and not coming home to anybody that cares about me. Like it'll just be me..in the world..by myself. With nobody around me often who actually loves me or cares about what I did that day. That's going to be...really weird. I mean, friends are great, but they don't really care about you like family does.

I'm assuming that lonely feeling of just kind of being a "drifter" through life when you're on your own goes away when you get married and have a family of your own, right? It's just so weird to me to think of having every day where I don't interact with anyone who really cares about me and am just by myself in that sense. Maybe I think too much, but this IS something I've thought about. Does this concept occur to most people? The idea of going through your days subsequently not around people who care about you? I'm assuming probably...probably why people date so often and jump into relationships so easily, I'm just guessing. What do you guys think? The idea of being alone and not around people who care about me until I find someone to marry, seems really weird to me.

I think you DO think too much. LOL Actually it's exciting! To have your OWN place and your OWN things, -- to be able to eat when you WANT to and go to bed when you WANT to, etc. You don't have to answer to ANYBODY!! You are your own boss! You can decorate your place the way you want -- in fact you can change it every day if you want to! LOL

You can always go out to eat with friends if you can afford it -- sometimes it's cheaper to eat out than to buy a load of groceries every week or two. Plus you don't have to COOK & do dishes! LOL

Being on your own is really great. You can STILL visit your folks any time you want to -- assuming it's ok with your folks. LOL Don't worry about it. Once you get on your own, you'll LOVE it. Trust me. You will NOT want to move back home. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee

lea2

I think that it's great that you have come from a healthy, happy home. Your family has done a good job at supporting you and showing you love. That's terrific!

However, you will be entering a different phase of your life. Independent, yes. But there are a lot of benefits to independence. You decide what to eat, when and where you'll eat it. You can look at magazine pictures, friends home and apartments, ad's and come up with plans on how you'd like your place to look. You can do it yourself; have friends over and share supper or lunch for their help; or have family over for their help and have a family meal. Just a few ideas off the top of my head. And, let me tell you, everyone has decorating ideas! You go with the one/s that you like best.

Loneliness comes and goes throughout life ~ whether I'm with someone or not. I can be at a party and still feel alone. The loneliness seems to come with my general level of happiness in life. My family hasn't ever filled that void within me, so I don't know if you would have that problem or not.

Try not to put too many expectations of yourself and your future. That increases pressure and anxiety level, in my experience. You are young, and have much to learn about and enjoy. Give yourself time to get to know who you are and what you like before trying to fill a feared void in your world. Trust me on this one.

Best wishes!

Hi Lea2,

The experience of having to manage your own household, however small it may be, can teach you a lot.

On the other hand, I think all your concerns are very valid. I'm not sure that every young adult necessarily should move out of their parents home.

In my case, there was so much emotional turmoil in my family's home that I was absolutely desperate to get out of there to any hole in the wall I could find. It was terribly lonely for me in my own place, at times, but I felt I'ld rather be lonely there than back in the middle of bitterness and strife.

I think being alone and not around people who are caring is actually unnatural for human beings. Once I took an anthropology course on India, and learned that, to many women in India, it would seem highly unnatural to sleep in a room completely alone. Typically, in some parts of India, at least, it was traditional for women and children to sleep communally in a room together, while menfolk did the same in another nearby living structure. Someone from Kenya told me that is the way he grew up, also. As he described it, boys sleep near the women folk and girls until a certain age. Then they move to another structure, nearby, where brothers and male cousins share a sleeping space.

I suspect that you are uttering what is, actually, the normal way for humans to feel. Also, I think your observation about people jumping into relationships too quickly, possibly to escape loneliness, is very astute.

Might you think about joining with some others of your own age and gender to share a place and be supportive of each other? I really do think that can be an ideal experience for a young adult. I did it and really enjoyed it - while it lasted. The problem is finding the right roommates. That can be really, really hard.