[AshleyG77]

I met this man about a year ago and he has been such a blessing in my life. He helped me focus my thoughts and become a happier person. The last 6 months we have been physically involved, but with no real committment or labels such as GF or BF.

He found out about 2 months ago that his mother has pancreatic cancer and things have been very challenging with our friendship ever since. I have tried so hard to let him know that I am here for him and I just care for him and want to help in any way I can. This man is hot and cold all the time and I never know who I am dealing with, but I enjoy his HOT side so much, that I deal with the cold side as much as possible.

However, last week we had a fight over something so stupid and I believe to be a misunderstanding. I felt for sure that our friendship was over and it was heartbreaking. His friendship means so much to me, but now he is completely shutting me out. I've sent a couple texts expressing that I am sorry, that I hope he still wants our friendship to continue, and that I appreciate and love him as a friend. He responded once saying that I am an unhappy, self destructive person and he is tired of it. He hasn't sad anything else to me since.

I know we will never have the same friendship we had before, but I just want us to be friends. Do you think he will eventually get over it and talk to me again? How much time or space should I give him? Should I wait and hope that he will talk to me first?

I just feel so bad that things flipped so fast and it feels so unresolved. I'm sad, lonely, frustrated, and scared. I just want it to be better.

Thoughts please... (honesty with kindness is appreciated)

[Scotty204]

Sounds like he is going through a rough time emotionally right now, he is feeling anger, guilt, sadness due to his sick mother. Just give it some time to cool down and I'm sure once he clears his head he will rethink things and come around again especially if you two had a good thing going.

[packleader2]

wise man once said, 'never argue with a woman.' maybe you could work through
the relationship issues presently with your T if you have one. The things said were
not respectful of your boundaries, it sounds like. I certainly do hope that when he
is not emotionally upset, you two can talk honestly. All the best to you,

[Harley47]

Pancreatic cancer is a very, very hard diagnosis to hear for a loved one. I don't think he's dealing with you in manner guided by rationale rather than an emotionally guided state.

Give him some time. Don't hound him with texts, but don't ease off too much. Just text him every now and again, asking things like how he and his mother are doing. Things like that. I think in time he'll come around.

Take care, and I hope things work out for you.

[PsychGirl123]

I agree with most everyone's thoughts here. You need to step back and let him come to you. You've said all you could say, and at this point, the ball is in his court. He is probably going through a really difficult time, and may have pushed you away because he has too much going on emotionally right now. All you can do for now is move your focus onto your own life and hope that he finds some clarity when all the dust has settled.

He may get in touch with you after his mom dies because he needs someone to talk to, he may get in touch with you in 6 months, or maybe never. But the longer you "wait" for him, the worse off you'll be, thinking of what could have been, what he's doing, or why he hasn't contacted you.

I think you should just back off completely— don't text him or push to talk to him. If you matter to him, he'll come looking for you.

Good luck hun