[lfshadow]

Why does my brother not care about me? Our parents and other brother all died in 1996. We were always a pretty close family, but now he seems to forget I even exist. We live 1000 miles apart but I come back "home" to visit, see friends & relatives about every 2 - 3 yrs.
This time I came home for Aunt's funeral, and he tells me 2 of my 3 friends died recently! But he never bothered to call me to tell me when they happened. Then I found boxes full of our family photos I thought were lost 15 yrs ago that he never told me about, but that I had asked about years ago. He doesn't see any of this as being a big deal - very casual about it all. I'm single, 53, female. I was VERY depressed for 10+ yrs; better now. He's 55, married, 2 kids.
We are each other's only living immediate family. Why does he forget about me and disregard my feelings?

[purplelephant]

I'm sure he cares, maybe he's just dealing with a lot?
Maybe he was afraid of how even more deaths of loved ones would impact you?
I'm not sure about the pictures. It does seem odd. The only explanation I could offer would be that they trigger painful memories of the family members you lost.
Have you discussed this with him? I'm sure he would want to know that he is causing you pain.

[shezbut]

((lfshadow))

It's hard to say what's happened between the two of you over the years.

I have seen it happen in my own family a couple of times ~ everything falls apart after the death of the person/people who glued the family together. Once they're gone, that common interest and habit of keeping in touch also falls apart. That can be a good thing in certain cases (like my dysfunctional family).

It's often a very sad reality for the majority of normal families out there. Hopefully, you and your brother will be able to re-build your relationship someday soon. My grandpa and his sister didn't talk for 30+ years over some goofy thing. My grandpa was hard-headed, and my great-aunt was a terrific woman. For her, the not talking was painful. For grandpa, it was just another person on his "Sh** List" & didn't mean much.

Gentle hugs to you ~ I can understand what you're experiencing. I'm sure that it is hard for you. Especially if you used to have closeness within the family. It's hard to let go of that expectation and simply work on developing some type of relationship with your brother.