Feeling used

My oldest nephew has been here for a little bit until he makes his trip back to Germany to stay with his parents. His parents and brother were just here and left on Saturday but for some reason it didn't work out for him to go with them.

I have asked him to do a couple of things for me while he has been here such as some artwork for my living room as he did some really cool graffiti art for my bedroom and I wanted the cohesiveness to go to the living room. He was all excited said he had ideas and promised me it would be done. UMM no it has not been done and he goes home tomorrow. I also asked if his girlfriend who came down yesterday to bring him by for about 5 minutes today so I could say goodbye to him in person and he said no we are going to be busy.

I am feeling very used because I bought him cigarettes, let him bum cigarettes from me, I took him a baseball game, I let him hang out at my apartment a lot and listened to him moan and groan about my dad. Yes he did do a little for me but I put out more energy in the time he was here than he did. One time I wasn't feeling well due to having drunk a little too much the day before and he was bugging me all morning from his gym (the days my parents worked out they brought him along and got him a 1 month membership to a gym close to them) to go buy him some smokes because he was out and he knew I had money. I told him no I did not feel well and I was not leaving the house and I had an extra pack and when my dad came by to bring me some juice I would bring them out to him. He kept pestering me so I ended up finally going ahead and going to the gym and he said I just needed to eat something and asked if there was a fast food place close so we went to Wendy's. I ordered a cheeseburger off their .99 menu knowing full well it had a bun and I can't have the bun but I figured I was already sick so it wouldn't matter much anyway. I had asked the window person what was on it because it wasn't something I had ordered before and when he heard the description of the burger he said oh that sounds good I want one. So I sighed and ordered him one. I then went to the gas station that is close to there and got a soda and some chips. He later that day got mad at me and said I let you get cheap food because I knew you needed to eat instead of getting me cigarettes. UMMM isn't it my money and I get to choose what I spend it on.

I don't know what happened to his Boys Town experience but if he is a typical graduate then they need to rethink their method.

I did get him back yesterday though he was going on and on about today and what him and his girlfriend were going to be doing and I said just be glad you aren't a girl and he listed 3 things that he was glad he wasn't a girl for and I said well I have the first two things which were cramps and my period. He was like ewww ewww TMI so I said just getting you back for your TMI's.

I hate to say it but I am kind of glad he is going home tomorrow. Normally I am sad when they leave but I think he has burned so many bridges since he has been here that it is going to be hard to trust him again. In fact on Friday he accused me of stealing 2 of his cigarettes. I don't know where he keeps them and why would I do that when I have my own? Plus he smokes menthol and he knows I don't like that. Then after accusing me of that he has the balls to ask me if he can have 2 of mine.

I don't know how to convey to him how I feel with out just coming off as a witch. I did FB him and told him I was angry with him but I don't know if it will even make a dent in his brain.

Jan

Sorry the nephews visit made you unhappy. I hope it's not a permanent rift. Sounds like you did your part as an auntie. Kids can take things for granted sometimes.

There is a book entitled, 'Boundaries,' which has helped me a great deal. Boundaries are a part of life, they keep us centered and healthy and whole. I continually struggle with this, it's a process. Come to think of it, I'm going to read the book again, let's read it together!

http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Whe...8308489&sr=8-1