[penguinsing]

There is this music drama hobby group that my mother joined. It’s very avocational and mostly are (close to seniors) mothers that joined, anyways….

My mother (student) know the teacher for almost 20yrs. They are good friends and she know I have mental issue. The group have another performance again. And one part of the show, there will be two students dressing in yukata (summer form of kimono, Japanese clothing) . We are not Japanese, just a part of the show involve yukata clothing. To wear yukata/kimono, it’s not as direct as wearing a bathrobe. You need to know “how’, the way/method to wear it. Also, you need to know to tie the belt too.

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My mother ask if she can borrow my yukata. We were talking and discuss may be I will help out too, since it’s not easy to wear yuakata. (I have experience in wearing it and also the belt). I said if you need me sure, I will go. I am either like or dislike to help out. And I am either want or not wanted to help out. Coz I don't want being mistaken as I disire to get involve and help out, when in the case people don't need me.

I said I will need to be notify not at the last minute, coz I would like to practice. (If I help, I like to make sure I am very good at it fast and coz with the time limit of backstage preparation during the show.) And that I would need to join at least two rehearsal. (To practice the speed on wearing). I don’t want to get last minute notice, coz I want to prepare. I mean that should be the attitude during live show. I don’t want to coz any trouble and have any problem during the show to cause it not run smoothly because of my part. I don't want people get trouble because I was slow in dressing them.

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So I wait and wait, but no answer of whether they need my help or not. And Sunday afternoon, I just found out that teacher is still deciding if she want me to help, coz she worry I would have mental issue during the show. I didn’t found out from that teacher. It was my mother talking on the phone so loud. She never have a voice of a little bird, chip chip.

The teacher worry I would have mental issue at backstage during the show. Okay, I am of course not very happy she think that way (I am human too and have emotion) But I can understand and I am not upset about it. It’s her show, it’s important to her.

What I am upset about the teacher is:
She procrastinates. She should decide whether she need me or not, and should not make me wait.
If you don’t trust then don’t use them. If you use them, trust them.
But don’t be undecided, hesitate, give no clear answer or answer like you have not say anything (like how politician talk).
This is wasting my time and her time. If she decide earlier, she has one less thing to solve too.
(and no, the teacher has days to decide, it’s not like she is force to decide in a hour or sth)
I don’t like people dragging on (people), when it’s relate to others. I don’t think people should treat others like that. I don't treat others like that, just as I don't want to be treated this way.

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Then the teacher called me (sunday) for that matter. I told her if she need me, I will go. But if not, that’s okay too. But she talk like a politician. She ask me. And she made all sorts of excuses like she concern about me. I told her, please talk straight and not marry-go-around. But she continue those “method- indirect” talk. And she said she will not answer me.

I told her since now we communicate. She can use a night to think. She can call me before Monday noon. I talked to her honest and direct in a polite way. I said it’s up to her to decide not me, please don't give me the “soccer ball”, she should be the one to initial the first kick, not me. It's her event / performance, she should be the one to decide not me. She has one night and a morning. I said she can call me before Monday noon, to tell me her decision. If I don’t receive her call, then I will treat the answer as no.

But she still insist her talk on that Sunday night and even I refuse the talk and ask her tell me her decisions. She still call and leave a message to (my father picked up the phone)

[in addition: I mention that if she don’t need me, then she can find another yukata, since I don’t want other people to handle my yukata (it’s not cheap) Then she said the yukata was suppose to belong to her. She told me that she gave the yukata to someone. (I didn’t know it when I receive it from that someone) . But if she give it to someone, it belongs to that someone. And then if that someone give it to me, then it belongs to me. I also told her in theory, the yukata belongs to me now. But if she still thinks it belongs to her, same she can call me before Monday noon, to ask for it back. I will give it back to her. ]

I don't think you should leave people waiting and in the cloud.
And one should give a clear answer. And then when people ask for a clear direct answer, please don't continue to talk like marry-go-around, unclear, and speak like a politician.