I'm off my meds. right now, doctors orders. Preparing to go into the hospital and try something new. Withought the medication I guess I'm cycling again. When I'm up, I'm finding I can persue my love. That would be astrophysics, and a few days ago I got lucky. I manged to get into contact with one of the top mathmatician and astrophysisits in Romania. He is brilliant, and between my research and talking with him via emails and chat, it's like fireworks are going off inside my brain.
Other than not sleeping, I don't feel manic, just yearning for more, I feel alive again, for the first time in years. I want to stay off my meds and move to Romania, lol.
This, of course, won't last, tomorrow, I know I will crash. My soul will be ground into the rocks and sand, pulverized, untill I am too weak and drained to focus my vison. Particle physics will be as important to me as changing the burnt out light bulb in the light fixture. I can still see well enough with three bulbs, there's no point. Particles have no place in your life when your depressed.
If there is a next life, I want to be reincarnated as a rock, LOL.
Is it better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all? Not when your in the pain of it and can't escape.

[Leed]

I hope and pray they can find something that will stabilize you so you can feel "normal" again (whatever THAT is ). This manic/depressive stuff is exhausting!

Best of luck, and please let us know how things go, ok? Keeping you in my prayers! Hugs, Lee