[sweetandsour]

i don't understand what move to take now. i've tried reconciliation and i managed to act normal for one week max and then all the toment came back again. my problem i have loads that i want to tell him in his face like he's a bloody cheat that he doesnt merit my attention and care that he's not a real man as he has neva handled our house expence and baby charge and he's always been gambling around with his money i don't have any acct of what he does with his pay whereas for me he is constantly on the look out so that i won't waste too much of my earning to be able to sustain the household.
i want to tell him that he is **** for me now and that in 6yrs of marriage with him i have done all my possible to try and adjust with him even if i haven't loved him like i should but neva have gone to seek out elsewhere.
i want to remove all those unsaid about him weighing tonnes on my heart because he is close to thinking that he is the perfect man but he is far from being that..
plus we constantly have the intervention of his parents sepcially his mum in our life she tolerates all his bad habits. when i'm working late she would take charge of our daughter and he would go out with friends having a drink whereas me i don't have any distractions apart from my work and kid and home. i'm always devoated to these and i keep asking myself why he did this to me WHY ME.
to what i know i have given my maximun in this wedding even if he was not someone with whom i fell in love my marriage was arranged.
now i fear i might end up doing bad things like getting back in touch with my ex who actually still feel something for me and is still unmarried..but i don't want to go that low do same thing as he did to me. but i want to punish.
i always gather the courage to reply him whenever he would bluntly tell me that i'm the one complecating everything but i always end up speechless as if i lost my tongh. but still i have so much to tell him.
one week with my wedding ring and i am back again without it. and i can't divorce my community tooooo complicated..
please support me and show me a way someone
i'm really bad i want to be in the relationship but if he will continue ignoring and not admitting his cheat it will be difficult for me and of what i've read with the "keep" she seems to be the type of woman he likes but i'm completely the opposite and i did tell him if he wants he can move out because i know he really appreciated that B****
i constantly go on FBK to check if they still on my husband deactivated his acct but there's isnt only FBK that can help them to speak if they still in touch. recently i logged in on my daughter's acct and guess what the "keep" is still active but no trace of my husband but God knows why she blocked me from seeing her wonder why and how she came to know that i was still on her trace as from my acct i can't trace her so you guys reading you must have figured out that perhaps she in contact with my husband who informed her that i was still checking on her and she blocked me...
and recently i was making up stories that she was harrasing me via FBK sending msgs about their chat conversation my husband and her and how my husband preffered her than me and when i told these to my husband there was no reaction he even didn't beleive me which brings me to think again that they can still be in touch and she denying everything coz its truly not true as i made up the story so he's beleiving her but still he hasn't realised to what extent i'm hurt and that he should if he wants to save our marriage from breaking to shower so much love and affection upon me so that these issues seem petty to me but no he is still to his own habits and just expects me to get back to mine..
reply me please....

[Leed]

I know you are hurting SOOO badly. And I know things are so much different in your country.

You are going to have to decide how much of this you're willing to tolerate. And also you're going to have to decide how much HURT you're willing to take from your community IF you decide to LEAVE him, because obviously your community probably isn't going to like it if you do leave him. I don't know why they would feel like that -- you don't deserve to be treated like this --- It seems that if a woman is unhappy and is being mistreated, she should be able to LEAVE!!! Perhaps they won't think much of it -- perhaps you won't experience any problems at all with your community -- I dont' know. I would hope not. But if you do leave, just be prepared.

You have every RIGHT to do as you please - at least in the "real" world. Women should have the same rights as anyone else. If you're mistreated, then you need to leave. Take your child, and go back home if your parents will let you. I hope and pray they will.

I wish you the very best -- I know you've been unhappy for a long time. Please be careful, and take care of yourself and your child! Let us know how you're doing if you do leave, ok? Hugs, Lee

[shezbut]

I wish that I could think of a realistic resolution for you, sweetandsour. It is just SOOO unfair that you're stuck in a miserable relationship despite your husband's poor treatment and misbehavior. I wish that societies like these didn't still exist in our world.

I agree with Lee's post to you wholeheartedly.

Is there a possibility that you can save some money out of each paycheck for yourself and your child? Perhaps hide it in a safe & special spot? And after you've saved a decent amount, maybe that would give you more options on getting away from your husband. Just a thought... If your family and community can't or won't support you leaving your husband, you're going to need to plan ahead so you and your child won't be in a bad position if you do decide to leave him.

You're in my thoughts. Very best wishes to you!!