Finally sunshine after a dark night

A special high to all who have been following my recent threads and a special thanx for your support and precious advices.
here i am today a new me with a good state of mind and at peace with myself.
a decision had to be taken and immediately so here it goes how i finally managed to land on my feet fine.
my marriage was going down the slopes with me knowing about my husbands cheating and i was very deppressed.
we had decided to divorce at least i had that in mind as i could no longer stand it specially after what he did day before.. we had a dispute as usual and was not talking and husband was sleeping in living room so i wanted him to be with me was in need i txt myself several times and with my incoming msgs on loud so that he would hear and be annoyed and come to see me as at 10pm who might be texting his wife and he did come but in anger took my mob and recorded my ex's phone number on his mobile finking he was texting me.
i was so angry that he was having doubts at me that i said bitter things to him and reminded him about what he did and that i wasn't like him.
and went to sleep
he wanted to know why my ex was still texting me but i lied to him saying he wasn't my ex didn't want him to know that detail and that he was a friend who was about to get married and needed advice.
he wasn't satisfied with my explanation and text him. i trusted my ex when i talked to him yesterday and he forwarded me all the msgs my husband had sent him and i was angry as my husband told him that he was responsible for our downfall in our relationship when he was the one who cheated on me so i got really angry and called my husband from work and told him bitter things again and about his acts and all..then my husband told me that my ex told him that it was me who was after him and that he didn't like to txt me and that her fiancee also don't like that.
now i was shocked as this wasn't true. we kept in touch and true whenever i had problem with my husband i would turn to him for support but neva entertained a relationship or thought to do so then i heard he got engaged so i said to myself that i can no more keep in touch with him as he might get in trouble so i deleted his number from my mobile and finished with that but after some time he got back to me and made me beleive that he was with his fiancee just for family's sake and that i was always in his heart but of coarse i wouldn't support that i would always tell him to be true in his relationship and give the girl importance and spend a good life as i know what it means to get hurt and i didnt want the girl to suffer specially not because of me. it old him that i wanted to cut off from him thats why i had deleted his number but he said we can keep in touch. now after knowing what he said i just deleted his number again and unfriend him on my fbk page.
that's ex part now my marriage part i was very upset and had to take a decision upon advice from my manager i took appointment with a lawyer and went to see her yesterday.
on my way to the lawyer i did a good thing i was in bus crying and lost when from far i heard people arguying when i turned saw an old age man sitting in bus and conductor saying he had no change with him to cut the old man's ticket and that he should come to last stop so as to get his change so i just opened my bag took my purse and ask conductor how much it was for the old man and paid his transport.
we both got off same stop and he insisted on returning the money inspite of my saying no and he even paid for my next trip so when i was getting off bus i touched the uncle and said thank you and there he as if blessed me. secretely wishing that God would help me find a solution to my problems and the lawyer was like God sent.
we talked a lot around two and half hrs of talking and i really said EVERYTHING from mental state to physical to EVERYTHING and she also read the print out of my husbands conversation with the keep and she finally opened my eyes on the fact that i really didnt want to hurt my husband as i loved him still but all the feelings were lost in all the troubles she told me he might have done wrong but in the last four month the effort that he was doing to restore the marriage which i overlooked was genuine. really he comes home early spends time with us and does house chores and tale us on rides and all.
so i realised he might deserve a lst chance but that i shouldn't constantly bring the past to him.
the lawyer left me at his office and i dropped by to say hi he was happily shocked and the expression was worth seeing. now i saw that he cared but i wasn't giving him the chance to prove.
today i told him i love you and it was genuine from my heart and i didnt' feel anything inside i didn't even think about that woman and msgs and got upset as i was.
so my marriage is on track again thank god and with solid bases this time but still i'm trying to convince my husband into couple counselling..

Love you all

Sweetandsour

That's great, "Sweet" ~ I'm glad you're going to try again. I think you'll be glad you did too!

I hope you can convince your hubby to go into couples counseling, but if not, YOU can go. Maybe that will help with communication although it would be best if both of you went.

Anyway, best of luck and keep us posted, ok? God bless. Hugs, Lee

I wish you and your spouse the best,hoping it can work out for you. Above anything get counceling for you if he chooses not to. My spouse refused therapy so I went alone a year and a half ago.I recently terminated therapy with my therapist opting for one that is closer my age,somehow it feels better for me. The age difference of 1 that is not alot younger trying to councel me wont make me feel as if I'm talkin to my daughter. Finding the right therapist is very important. Concentrate on you first then go from there.

I agree with everyone else. Couples counselling is a gr8 idea but if he's not ready or onboard with it, take yourself. After all it was talking to someone outside the relationship that help you have your revelation, so who knows what continuing to talk to an impartial outsider might help you discover