[TheThinker]

I've been home from college because of the summer break and I'm trying to get my driver's license during this short time. However, despite pushing me hard for years to get my drivers license(I'm in my early 20's and been out of high school for about 3 years). My parents(esp. my Mother) are standing in the way of me accomplishing such and have been for sometime as my mother insists that I drive for at least 1-2 years consistently before going to take the behind the wheel exam for my actual license.

Granted due to me being in school, I really haven't had a chance to do that. However, since I have been home I've done several lessons with a driving instructor after my pushing my mother to allow me to do(She wanted to cont. driving with me on an inconsistent for at least 1 year and then go get my license or take me to an instructor.)(However, this hasn't been working at all since she is inpatient, extremely nervous, and often yells at me when I drive and alot of times even stops going out with me.) These are all some of the reasons why I didn't get it back in high school when I should have got it(although they won't admit that).

Although, despite all of this I still know how to drive after working with friends and the driving school instructor I went out with said I would pass the Behind the Wheel test at the DMV given how I was doing at driving. He said I just needed to continue to drive with my family, friends to get my expernice. I also feel confident for the most part driving on the road, highways, etc. However, when I go out driving with my Mom after this she still yells and screams at me over small errors or when I get confused at certain intersections(due to the dotted white lines which make it difficult to tell at times which lanes to get into). And she keep's insisting that I put off"as she doesn't think I would pass it".

This is despite the fact that the DMV road test in my state is very basic and lasts less then 20 min and doesn't involve anything complicated etc. Given from what I know from asking around and reviewing the official site. Additionally, to show you how easy it is my state gives licenses to people who can't speak English, read, or are really old. Plus my state's driver's rank amongst the worst in the nation to top it off.

I also need a license not only to drive when I'm at home(my area has extremely poor public transportation so I'm usually stuck at home during the summer). But I also have a hard time buying liquor, getting a job that pays above $10.00, filling out certain forms etc. Without a driver's license despite the fact that I won't be driving much at college since I go to school in an urban area. It is also extremely embarrassing for me not to have one considering just about everyone my age does have a license and often makes me dependent on other people. And also makes me look incompetent or inept as also.

I tried talking to my Mom civilly about this but she again keep's on insisting that I wait and take more lessons, drive with her etc. As she also continues to blow my novice driver mistakes out of proportion. I told her if she refuses to take me for my license exam I'll ask a friend to take me, but she insists I'm a horrible driver and that anybody who lets me drive their car would be crazy to do so. However, I feel this is just a tactic she is using trying to continue to put it off and I don't have much time for this.

I feel my mother and my parents are making a big deal out of something that really isn't and should have been done a looong time ago! And this is causing me alot of extreme stress when I'm already badly burnt out for the school year to begin with.

[Leed]

Look! If you are over 21, there is not a DARN THING she can do to stop you from getting a license! Get it and forget about your controlling mother! For Pete Sakes, it's time to grow up, and cut the apron strings. Why do you need mother's approval anyway? Is it cause she has to pay for it? Well, get the money somewhere else! Get a part-time job or something, but you DON'T need Mom's okay! You don't need her okay to buy liquor, so why do you need her okay to get a drivers' license?

Go get it ! And tell your Mom that it's YOUR business, not hers. And if you can pass the drivers exam, that's all you need. And if she starts yelling at you when she's riding with you, tell her to BE QUIET cause she's gonna cause an ACCIDENT!

Best of luck & God bless. Hugs, Lee

[TheThinker]

Originally Posted by Leed

Look! If you are over 21, there is not a DARN THING she can do to stop you from getting a license! Get it and forget about your controlling mother! For Pete Sakes, it's time to grow up, and cut the apron strings. Why do you need mother's approval anyway? Is it cause she has to pay for it? Well, get the money somewhere else! Get a part-time job or something, but you DON'T need Mom's okay! You don't need her okay to buy liquor, so why do you need her okay to get a drivers' license?

Go get it ! And tell your Mom that it's YOUR business, not hers. And if you can pass the drivers exam, that's all you need. And if she starts yelling at you when she's riding with you, tell her to BE QUIET cause she's gonna cause an ACCIDENT!

Best of luck & God bless. Hugs, Lee

Thanks for your sympathies,

Well your correct in one assumption I need her car to take the actual test and 2nd I need their approval because I'm on their insurance and in my state you need to have car insurance to get your license.

Btw she doesn't listen to me in the car or out of it and she's still demanding to drive w/me even after I get my license(if I even get a chance to get it any time soon).

[Leed]

Well, couldn't you use a friend's car to take the test? I see no reason why you couldn't. And if they require it, you could just take your parent's proof of insurance along with you, since you'll be driving their car the rest of the time, but use a friends car for the test.

Then SPRING your license on them! LOL That would be a RIOT! LOL I'd love to be there to see their faces if you did that! LOL

And again, if she's too noisy in the car while yo're driving, you'll just have to tell her she's going to cause you to run up a pole! LOL Hugs, Lee

[RomanSunburn]

In my state, you could use the driving instructor's car to take the test. I remember I had to do that because I don't have enough experience driving a standard and the automatic has a foot emergency break, and you have to take it in a car that has an emergency break within reach of the cop giving the test.

I'd also look more into the insurance thing. You could always try calling your parents insurance company and saying you'd like to start your own policy. I'm not sure exactly what you need to bring for proof of insurance to the test -- maybe just a photo copy? The state I originally got my license in was the same way with insurance, but I don't remember what I did at all.

Lastly, don't feel bad about not having your license. I didn't get my license until the very end of high school (I remember waiting until I was over 18 because insurance rates are better. Not to mention, I didn't need it before then). My sister also waited until senior year of high school. One of my close friends only just got her license because her mother refused to teach her and her dad was deployed so she didn't have a way to learn. Her husband (that's right, she graduated college and got married before getting her license) ended up teaching her and she only got it a month or so ago. Another close friend also doesn't have her license. She just graduated from graduate school. Basically, in my circle of friends... lots of people don't have their license for one reason or another and nobody judges them. The first friend and I got lunch every week for about a year and I always drove to get her and then to lunch, and honestly, I was glad to do it. I think it's part of the reason we were able to become such close friends. The important thing is that it is a goal for you, you are determined to get it, and you WILL get it. I have faith in you and believe you will be able to do it one way or another.

Just out of curiosity, do you have any idea why your mother is behaving like this?

Good luck on your test, I'm sure you'll do fine!!

[unaluna]

you really should probably get yourself the state id even if you don't get the driver's license. so you can donate your organs etc if god forbid something should happen to you. or if you get on a train or plane, you need some id, don't you?

[TheThinker]

Originally Posted by RomanSunburn

In my state, you could use the driving instructor's car to take the test. I remember I had to do that because I don't have enough experience driving a standard and the automatic has a foot emergency break, and you have to take it in a car that has an emergency break within reach of the cop giving the test.

I'd also look more into the insurance thing. You could always try calling your parents insurance company and saying you'd like to start your own policy. I'm not sure exactly what you need to bring for proof of insurance to the test -- maybe just a photo copy? The state I originally got my license in was the same way with insurance, but I don't remember what I did at all.

Lastly, don't feel bad about not having your license. I didn't get my license until the very end of high school (I remember waiting until I was over 18 because insurance rates are better. Not to mention, I didn't need it before then). My sister also waited until senior year of high school. One of my close friends only just got her license because her mother refused to teach her and her dad was deployed so she didn't have a way to learn. Her husband (that's right, she graduated college and got married before getting her license) ended up teaching her and she only got it a month or so ago. Another close friend also doesn't have her license. She just graduated from graduate school. Basically, in my circle of friends... lots of people don't have their license for one reason or another and nobody judges them. The first friend and I got lunch every week for about a year and I always drove to get her and then to lunch, and honestly, I was glad to do it. I think it's part of the reason we were able to become such close friends. The important thing is that it is a goal for you, you are determined to get it, and you WILL get it. I have faith in you and believe you will be able to do it one way or another.

Just out of curiosity, do you have any idea why your mother is behaving like this?

Good luck on your test, I'm sure you'll do fine!!

Idk she has always been very stubborn about this whole thing. "She thinks driving is serious deadly business". Given it is but not to the extent she thinks it is.

I've been spending the past day and a half begging her to let me try out for my license "but she thinks I'm not ready" because I have a hard time telling lanes at intersections at times.

She keeps say no no. I've even begged in tears to let me go so I can get this god damn thing out of the way so I con move on. But she insists we use the rest of the summer to practice,. But given her overall stubbornness, desire for me to be perfect at driving, and her inability to remain claim while I'm driving(even if I make mistakes). That is unlikely to happen.

[scorpiosis37]

As others have indicated, you're over 18. You do NOT need your mother's permission to get your driver's license. You also do NOT need your parents' car or your parents' insurance. You simply need A car that is insured. You can use a friend's car or a driving instructor's car, both of which should be insured (the insurance card should be in the glove box). Or, you can call up any insurance company and purchase personal insurance under your own name. On the DMV website, there is a list of about 8 different ways to obtain insurance for your driving test. If you feel you're responsible enough to get a driver's license and operate a motor vehicle, then you should also be responsible enough to find the things you need for the test on your own. A lot of us (myself included) had to figure these things out for ourselves, without our parents' help. It can be done!

And, now that you're in your 20s and 3 years out of high school, it's probably time to stop begging and crying to your mom. Maybe that's why she doesn't feel you're ready to be a licensed driver? Because that kind of behavior is not demonstrating your maturity. If you start acting like a responsible adult and inform her of your decisions (rather than beg for her permission), perhaps she will give you more respect. Either way, it's probably time to start making your own decisions and taking responsibility for your own life. Are you going to wait indefinitely for your mom to agree to let you take your driver's test? What if she still says no when you're 25? 30? It's time to do this on your own.

I will side with your mother on one thing: driving is very serious and potentially deadly busines and absolutely to the extent she thinks it is. Please respect the seriousness of that responsibility. You say a few things that make me wonder if your mother's concerns about your readiness to truly accept the responsibility of driving may be somewhat founded. Maybe it is the fact that you seem to want to put the "fault" on her instead of the responsibilty on yourself, an adult, at this point.

Whether or not that's the case though, you are of age and no one is really stopping you from getting your license but you. You can get a state ID for documentation for purchases, filling out forms, applications, etc. A license is not the only way to document who you are legally, so in the meantime work on getting your state ID.

If you need more lessons, take a driver's ed course. You do not need your mother's permission or help to do so. Again, you are no longer a minor. This really is in your control and your responsibility at this point. You can test in anyone's car. You can get independent insurance coverage even without having your own vehicle that will cover liability.

If this is important enough to you, you can make this happen without your mother's help or permission. You are not a child anymore. Do this on your own if that is what you want.