[a1shif]

My husband and I have been married for 5 years. It is a second marriage for both although I was married for 14 years and he was married for 3 months. He has a son in 6th grade and I have two children 18 and 20 who are basically on their own. His ex is bipolar and borderline personality disorder. She is very manipulative and he caters to her whims to see his son, whenever it is convenient for her, not by visitation orders. He pays his child support. He sometimes takes off work to spend time with him (which he does not get paid for) and he binge drinks 1-2 nights a week which further inhibits his ability to work. He is self-employed. He will not even consider a "real job" that would require specific days and hours. Our finances are crap. I have to pay most of the of bills. He will never go anywhere with me, stating he is tired, but then will go to play basketball with his friends. For example, I have enough groceries for a specific amount of meals and people. His son is suddenly coming tonight, we have no money left for the week, and he does not like what I have to eat at home. We cannot go out. We cannot do anything fun. My husband gave me one hour notice.
I think my husband is selfish. I have tried every way possible to tell him he needs to stop drinking, pay his share, and insist on making plans for visitation with his son ahead of time. He just ignorres me and says, "You're really pretty" or something totally off topic, as if a compliment will make everything better. I am completely frustrated! By the way, we never have sex anymore either because he is always too tired or something. We have tried marriage counseling and he says he knows he is not pulling his share but then does nothing about it.

No one can answer that question for you but you. Why did you marry him? Have you tried marriage counseling to see if any of this can be worked on? So much we don't know about the situation which really makes it impossible to answer.