[waggonwheel33]

Ok well this is my first post and ill try and open up alittle. Me and my girlfreind started dating when she was 14 and i was 16. (were currently 19 and 21) we have gone threw alot in the years of dating. She had alot of guy friends (mainy only guy friends) and I had some issues about jellousy and things of that nature. She never cheated on me or anything but she always acted diffrent around them. We had many fights about it and i tried to get better about it (and i did). It was tough but i got help and I got to the point where I didnt care about who she hung out with and I fully trusted her. After that at her work she had a certain guy freind who she always joked around with and he asked her on dates all the time and always wanted to hang out with her. I was annoyed but i kept quiet and didnt worry myself about it mainly because he was 29 years old. Well about 6 months ago she broke things off with me and she said it was just because we needed a break because she was confused with life and needed to figure somethings out. She said I was too controling when it came to her hanging out with guys (from our past). In less than a week into the breakup she was in a relationship with the guy she worked with. I was completely heartbroken because it was my first breakup (she was my first and only gf). well about 3 months later when i was starting to get myself back on track. She came back to me, and i still have major feeling for her. She was extreamy sorry for everything and missed me so much and felt so stupid for dating the guy she was with. She said she loved me and nothing like that would ever happen again. So we waited a couple weeks then we started going back out. we have been dating for about 3 or so months now and everything was going smoothly. My problems are now im starting to feel the jelousy thing when she hangs out with other guys Should I? concidering what happend before. Second I still feel betrayed by her (which i thought would go away after time) and Third i just want some opionions on the situation from someone els. I love her to death but there are some issues and i dont no what to do...

[lynn P.]

Welcome to PC waggonwheel33. I'm older than you so I don't follow the belief of hanging out with guy friends when in a committed relationship. I don't find you overly jealous and you said you were working on it. I do agree with you, it wasn't right for her to communicate with a guy at work who made it clear he wanted more than a friendship. The fact she went with him, right after breaking it off with you means she/he had those intentions. I understand who you're hurt and doubtful now.
Do you hang out with your female friends and is she fine with that?? Why can't you all hang out together. Not sure how to solve this problem because I can understand how you feel.

[Leed]

I'm with Lynn on this. I understand how you feel. Plus, I think she's being disrespectful towards you. She KNOWS this bothers you, and she's known this for a long time -- yet she CONTINUES to hang out with these guys, but expects YOU to change. Why should YOU change when SHE'S the one doing it? If she's committed to the relationship, SHE should be the one to knock off hanging with these guys, and stay with YOU. If she wants to hang with these guys, then YOU should go along too.

I don't think she's all that committed. If I were you, I would tell her either YOU go along when she wants to see these guys, or else she just quits seeing them. Or one other choice is to just hit the road. She can't "have her cake and eat it too" as the OLD saying goes. LOL She's just not respecting you at all.

Just my opinion on this whole thing. God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

[Odee]

Feeling betrayed by her isn't just going to go away. You have a solid reason to feel hurt. I have no idea if I could ever feel comfortable in a relationship where I had been betrayed before.

Your girlfriend needs to be bending over backwards to prove now that she's commited to you. She committed a relationship sin and it's understandable that you feel hurt. If she's going to apologize, she needs to be making an effort to understand how you feel. At this point, I do not think that it is out of line to ask her not to hang out with guy friends in situations that you are not comfortable with.

It's extremely sad that you had gotten over jealousy issues just to be thrust in a position that validates them.