[dawndishsoap]

Okay so I've been with this guy for nearly 3 years and weveseporated but not broke up 3 times.. after this past time I left him he claims that it opened his eyes to how mean he got towards me, he is the reason I need spine surgery and emotional trama and he used to hold me away from my family and he has got mean physically, but he says I opened his eyes to all of it and realized he really don't want to lose me. Sounds like typical guy talk when they just miss the hot piece of ace they had. We've been together again for a week today, he seems nicer and talks instead of shuts down and he's putting me through school but I just have a feeling he will be nice til I move back in. I know positive thoughts help but letting my guard down is not what I'm willing to do now.

[Leed]

If you need SPINE surgery because of this man DO NOT MOVE IN WITH HIM!! Are you kidding me?? You're really thinking of moving back in with him? DO NOT DO IT. The next time he'll probably KILL you!

These guys do NOT change. The next time, he'll probably throw you thru the door. Stay away from him! I don't care if you "love" him or not! I don't see how you could even "like" him!

Stay away from this guy. He's just going to say what YOU want to hear. Then he's going to start all over again. Don't believe his lies. He has NOT changed. They don't change that fast. They don't change at all usually.

Forget this dude. He's trouble. Stay where you are -- away from him. Get a protective order if you have to, but stay away!
Hugs, Lee

[SeekingZen]

dawndishsoap, I couldn't agree with Leed more, LEAVE HIM!!! You said he is the reason you need back surgery yet you are getting back together with him???!They do not change; once he does it once, he will hit you again. Next time you may not live to tell your story. Love yourself, value yourself enough to know that you deserve to be with someone who will not abuse you. That is not love. Do not fall back into this trap again. I have been down this road before and things get much worse. Why do you feel that you need to get back into this relationship? Has he made you feel responsible for his abusive behavior?

Keep us posted. You're in my prayers.

[Puffyprue]

Spine surgery?? thats scary...
if i were you try to be friend first and keep your distance , if he really has changed he would understand especially after what he did to you and observed your feeling .. if you could trust him again ..

[Perna]

I agree; sounds like you are putting his financial support with school above your health and well-being. No one's money can buy good relationships.

Please dont even consider going back with him! Sorry to be so blunt, but its so so so very rare for an abuser to change. And how many women have heard their partners be sweet and lovely for them to switch again suddenly? Its not worth the risk and you are worth a million times more than him.

I echo the other members' comments, & I am so sorry this happened to you

I am sure you are trying to give him every opportunity to prove himself and you care for him but care for yourself more. Put yourself first. Don't give him the slightest opening to EVER hurt you again.

Please just stay away. I don't know how else to say it...

...if you can just sort of fade away and out of his life that would be ideal. Let him fixate on someone else.

Wishing you all the best, in good health,
Rose

[boodles]

You deserve better. He won't change. This is part of the cycle. Run for your life, and I mean that literally. Tell yourself over and over again: "I deserve better."

All the best...

[PiecesOfLoveX3]

I was in the same kind of situation nothing as severe where I needed spine surgery, but I know how it is because you love him. Mine was kind of an emotional abuse which was pretty bad. He says he changed pshh I was on and off with my ex thinking he was going to change and honestly a few times i didnt want to go back to him, but I did because i was scared of him and it was like i had to because of it.He never changed it would be fake nice at first, but after a while the true colors started to show. He took full advantage of me. Get out of it the longer you are with him the more it will just get worse. Go to a public place like a restaurant to break up with him and bring a friend.Just think.... he was pretty nice when you started dating him right like begining of relationship before any break ups...how else would you fall for him... you wouldn't have if he wasn't nice when you started dating him.Then he got mean...it's the same thing again on repeat. Don't let him hurt you anymore. Get out of it i know you love him.... but if he loved you would he put you through this? Trust me after a while of being rid of him you will feel so much better. There is a book called the breakable vow....after you break up with him you should read it.