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Veteran Member
Member Since Feb 2006
Location: California
Posts: 361
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#1
I've recently started dating again and I'm full of nervousness. I'm 23 now and I feel all the jitters as though I'm 15 all over again. The thoughts of... will there be a second date, what does he think of me, when is he going to call back, if he doesn't call does it mean that he's just not that into me??? A year ago I had just got out of a emotionally draining relationship and so I told myself that I will absolutely not date for a full year because I wanted to reassure myself that I was ready to date again. Now that a year is up I've been excited and nervous at the same time in meeting people again. I've recently had met someone and so far we've had two dates. Is it weird that guys could call it "just hanging out" and us girls say its a "date"? I just dont know how to keep relax and not having a million thoughts rushing through my mind? Does anyone have any tips for me when it comes to dating, especially when some time has pass in between each relationships?
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Wise Elder
Member Since Jan 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 9,946
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#2
I would have to say just BE YOURSELF and try to HANG OUT - being FRIENDS first and dates later (and) then let the cards be dealt by good old Mother Nature....... in my almost 40 years of living I can say that most males want a friend and a lover (of the heart), some one they can hang with and feel comfortable around - some one that takes an interest in the things & activities he likes.... Guys bond thru DOING!! - so enjoy those recreational moments with him.
Good Luck................. LoVe, Rhapsody - |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Feb 2006
Location: California
Posts: 361
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#3
Well the last time I hung out and even talked to the guy was last Saturday on the 13th. I've called him a couple of times and left messages and still no return calls. So is that it....? I suppose he's just not that into me.
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Founder & Your Host
Community Support Team Chat Leader
Member Since May 2001
Location: Greater Boston, MA
Posts: 13,651
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#4
My advice is always the same in this area -- know yourself first and foremost, and recognize that jitters and a little anxiousness comes with the territory. The other person likely feels exactly the same way, so you probably both share that in common!
It sometimes helps to try and change the way you think of it and treat it more casually in your mind. The word "date" does have a lot of expectations and maybe pressure -- but it's pressure you're putting on yourself. Recognizing that and thinking of it more as just an opportunity to get to meet other interesting and entertaining folks (and if something happens, that's great, if not, oh well). I think that was the whole premise behind that dating service, "It's just lunch..." I think the person who started it recognized all this pressure some folks put on themselves and that was an attempt to just re-state the idea. Remember, it's supposed to be fun!! So try and have some fun while doing it! Good luck! __________________ Don't throw away your shot. |
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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2005
Location: who cares where I\'m at
Posts: 1,258
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#5
That sounds like fun. That nervousness and, I'm sure endreniline rush, is all apart of the dating scene. I perosnally think that's what makes dating fun is the mystery and excitment.
The tips I have is to allow time for the guy to warm up and personally get to know you. For some men it can be awhile before they realize their intrested beyond the physical attraction. I also recommend giggling alot........and a little touch on the shoulder or arm here and there. It's cute. Good luck and I hope all works out well for you. __________________ |
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Pirate Goddess
Member Since Oct 2005
Location: South Jersey, USA
Posts: 5,246
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#6
I agree with DocJohn. I also recommend not waiting by the phone. Got an answering machine? If he calls, he'll leave a message. You sound too emotionally wound up over this. And don't focus on one guy. Meet a few, and see who appeals to you.
__________________ Maven If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had some ice cream. Equal Rights Are Not Special Rights |
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