[doggiedo]

I meet this great guy and I'm getting paranoid things are not going well. He's busy - training for a marathon and his dad is just getting out of inpatient at an alcohol treatment facility. I also just found out I got a job interview at a great school out of state, that will pay for my PhD. I think he might just have a lot going on, and might be taking my interview as a vibe that I'm not into him.

We were intimate this weekend (we are bf/gf and exclusive, so it's not a new relationship, per say)....but that makes it hard. Our first time, and now I'm freaking out. Is it in my head and is he legit busy?

We still talk every day, but Idk if he misses me or if he's into me like i am into him. We are hanging out tonight. We'll see how it goes.

I just have this horrible anxiety and I'm afraid I won't make it through the day. It's all I can think about. He's just such a great guy. He gives me those butterflies, u know?

[kyouma]

i may suggest the same thing a lot, but really, i believe people should talk to each other and be honest. there's no better way to clear things. do you think you can talk to him like that? perhaps mention how sad you are that now that you got a nice opportunity for your career, it would have to be far from where he is, or ask how he feels about anything he's going through, say that you've been thinking how tired he may be after training for that marathon and you feel like doing something for him to enjoy, like preparing your night together (choosing your dinner and plans like a movie) and giving him a massage. what do you think of that?
don't let yourself think too much, specially if you're thinking by yourself while you are not able to talk to him. try to send him a message during the day, to let him know you're thinking of him. my girlfriend taught me that, little things count a lot, i'd say she even spoiled me haha and it's great.
hope my opinion helps, and remember to never let yourself overthink those things, the best way is always try to understand each other alright?

My advice is to relax......

Seems that you're looking for things to go wrong, forgive me for saying. Relationships are always up and down, esp when you live apart. You've both got your own lives too!

If you are speaking every day, you're hanging out when possible then I wouldnt worry too much. Sure, life gets busy, and it has for the pair of you (good luck with the interview!) but I wouldnt read too much into it. You saw him at the weekend, and you're seeing him tonight, wow, I'd say that you've got a keen one there!! Please dont fret, or see things that might not be there. Unless you hear it from him, then there's probably nothing wrong.

And please remember... if people start to drift, or pull away, or change their minds about someone, worrying about it will do absolutely nothing to help. There's nothing you can do to give someone that chemistry, and what will be will be. I dont think this fella is pulling away from you, just trying to say that worrying yourself so much will just not help you.

Enjoy tonight and have fun!

[doggiedo]

Thanks guys. I was being paranoid. I don't know why I get like that! It really annoys me, but when the anxiety is bad and I'm in it, it's killer.

He came over last night after a long day at work - I made dinner and some homemade chocolate chip cookies. We snuggled and watched a movie - it was wonderful.

[Harley47]

I am very happy to hear things went well, and good for you for working towards the PhD! That's a life goal of mine.

I think you were given excellent advice, so I don't have too much to add. As long as you two are in good communication, things like you describe tend to work out.

My best to the two of you, and good luck on the PhD!