[brokenwingsflying]

I'd just moved house to live in a small area and it was the summer holiday's. I went to the park a couple of times, just walking my dog on my own, and this boy was there every time. He kept looking at me and about the third time I saw him, he came up to me and started asking questions about my dog, talking about his dog, that was how we first met each other. We got chatting, his name was Brooklyn and he gave me his number. We met up a couple more times in the park etc and then went for a coffee. He seemed really nice and I totally fell for him, like really badly, within a matter of days. Which obviously meant it wasn't headed in a good direction.. but anyway. We really got along well. A few weeks in we started dating and I went round to his house a few times etc. This was about four weeks into the summer holiday's.

We had our first kiss in this private area of the park on this love seat swing etc. And I thought everything was going so well. Too well I guess. Because at about the fifth week, I saw him and another girl sitting on the same seat, kissing and talking and all over each other. That kinda messed me up real bad because of how much I liked him etc.

He tried to apologize/explain via email, text and phone calls because I didn't want to see him in person. Then I just stopped answering him because I couldn't cope with it. He'd really hurt me. Sixth week was over and I had to start a new school in the area. I walked into class a little late on the first day so everyone else was already in their seats. I didn't notice at first because I was too caught up in it all, the teacher introducing me, finding my seat etc, but as soon as I sat in the allocated chair and settled down, I turned to my right and he was just sitting there. I had no idea he was even at the school, which I know was bad, but for some reason he'd told me he was going to another school and I hadn't found out which one I would be attending until four days before I actually started. But anyway, he was right there.

And he just bit his lip and looked away. That was it. Not a word. Nothing. He didn't speak to me and barely looked at me for at least 2 weeks after I started. Every time I tried to talk to him, he would ignore me or pretend he had no idea what I was talking about. He denied everything. Then I found out that the girl I caught him with was in the year below, and was a right ******. She made my life hell with her little friends and he did nothing to stop it. I was so angry and hurt for weeks and weeks afterwards.

Now, ages later, he sent me a text saying-

Sorry everything turned out so *****. Didn't mean to hurt you. I just wasn't thinking. Coffee next tuesday?

I can't believe he thinks I'm just going to take him back in and forget about everything. He admitted he slept with her whilst he was with me. I haven't replied to his text. He sent another, like two minutes ago saying-

I really miss you and I'm sorry about what happened with Elise. I just want to see you on tuesday.

I don't know what to reply. He has effected a lot of my relationships at school and effected me in general. After everything that has happened, I still love him. I just feel confused, angry, hurt but I love him, so much so that I haven't been able to even look at another boy in that way since. I just feel like I need him again, but I know it's not a good idea. I'm on the edge, what do I do?

[Leed]

Honey, once a cheat, always a cheat. Do NOT mess with this guy. If he's even gone so far as to affect other relationships you have, RUN AWAY from him. He's NO GOOD.

You don't want to mess with him cause he's a player.

Find someone who will respect you feelings -- he sure doesn't.

Take care and God bless. Hugs, Lee

[IceCreamKid]

I think you are describing disappointment and a sense of loss rather than love. This young man didn't treat you right. As hard as it may seem, let him go. And don't give out physical affection until you are in a committed relationship and of an age where it makes sense to do so.

If he continues to pester you, be firm but unwelcoming. Tell him it's no big deal, to forget about it because you have and then walk away. If his younger girlfriend tries to give you grief, ignore her. If she actually comes up to you, tell her you don't know what her problem is with you but you have no problem with her and walk away. If she persists tell whoever is the authority to tell such things to at your school. Girls can be bullies too, and she needs correction if that is what she is.

By divesting yourself of these two, you will be able to see some of the decent people who are at your school.

Hi brokenwingsflying - i'm just going to echo the excellent advice already given, this boy is direspectful, dishonest and completely unworthy of another second of your time/thoughts. I would respond to his text explaining you've moved on and would like him to do the same. As for the bullying, please make sure this is kept in check by your teachers as such a thing can spiral out of control quite quickly and this isn't something you will want to deal with when you've moved to a new school and have more important things to focus on. You will overcome your disappointment/grief/anger but it takes time - i would instead concentrate on your studies and making friends with those who are worth getting to know. All the best.

[Harley47]

Originally Posted by Leed

Honey, once a cheat, always a cheat. Do NOT mess with this guy. If he's even gone so far as to affect other relationships you have, RUN AWAY from him. He's NO GOOD.

You don't want to mess with him cause he's a player.

Find someone who will respect you feelings -- he sure doesn't.

Take care and God bless. Hugs, Lee

Leed, as per usual, gives great advice.

I know how hard it is to be cheated on...had that happen to me as well over the summer. It is excruciating. But you owe it to yourself to find someone who's going to treat you as you deserve, not just as "that other girl," you know?

It is natural to still love him. I still desperately loved my ex even after everything came to light (thankfully, in retrospect, not enough to keep trucking with that whole toxic affair...pardon the pun ). Even now, 3 months later, I still feel the odd twang in my chest when some of the good memories float back through. But you have to remember that what he did isn't a sign of someone who loves you. It's the mark of a manipulative, cunning person who is after one thing. You deserve much better.

I know this is hard, but try to let him go. I'm not even sure I'd dignify his text with a response. Time heals. Slowly, perhaps, but it does a good job.

I hope I was of some help, and I wish you my best.

Sincerely,
Harley

PS: His "other girl,"...Elise, was it? I'm not surprised she's making things difficult. Hard as it is, ignore her. She isn't worth even half your time. I don't quite know what the asterisk'd out word you referred to her was (didn't count the asterisks this time ), but I think she's doing a wonderful job of proving that. I'd let her go...not to be spiteful, but I think the best form of revenge you could give the (your asterisks here) is letting her have the loser, wouldn't you agree?