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  #1  
Old Oct 18, 2012, 07:10 PM
godric godric is offline
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I am dating a girl that I think may have some sort of commitment anxiety. I think that she loves me. I am scared that I might feel this way because it is what I want to feel. I am looking for guidance to see if this is a real issue, or is that she doesn’t want to be with me at all, and does not know how to go about it.
She is awesome for a while, but as soon that something happens that brings us closer she freaks out. It seems like when she notices that she is getting more attached she freaks out. I have already found a pattern that has been getting worst with time. Usually a week after something significant happens, she breaks ups with me. By something significant I mean like her telling me “I love you”, or we get through something together, for example her sister going back to her home country. She told me once that she was in love with me on Monday, and on Friday she was weird, and we broke up.
Her mother had cheated on her father around the time she was conceived. The father was never sure if my girlfriend was really his daughter. He used to be distant with her, and was cold with her from time to time. Her parents tried to work this out and had gone to a marriage counselor to help. They expressed to the counselor the fact that my girlfriend may not be the daughter, and the counselor asked if she was aware of this. Her parents said that she did not have any idea of this situation, and the counselor said that they should not tell her about this until after she is married. The counselor stated that if she were to know this before then, this may affect her relationships for the rest of her life. (Is this true?)
She describes a real pain when she freaks out, and that she feels like she cannot breathe.
Is this really an anxiety that she gets? Is it that she doesn’t really love me and doesn’t know how to go about breaking up? If this is real, how can we get passed this? What should I do?
I want to make sure that I am not fighting for something that is not real, and waste my time.

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  #2  
Old Oct 19, 2012, 08:36 PM
tigerlily84's Avatar
tigerlily84 tigerlily84 is offline
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I really sympathize with you. And yes, it does sound like your girlfriend is experiencing some type of anxiety but I'm not a professional. Does she see a therapist? She definitely should. If you love her and want to stick by her, then be patient with her. It sounds like she's going through a lot. She needs to figure out what she wants, or she may lose you. Hopefully not. Good luck to you both!

Last edited by tigerlily84; Oct 19, 2012 at 09:40 PM.
  #3  
Old Oct 22, 2012, 05:59 AM
Chrome Dome Chrome Dome is offline
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Yea, its very hard to say exactly whats going through her head. But this does sound like it could be commitment anxiety. Obviously you know her better than anyone on this forum. Does it feel like she loves you when youre with her? I think a lot of her issues could be coming from her parents' history...
  #4  
Old Dec 09, 2012, 10:03 PM
godric godric is offline
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Yes.. I think she does love me. But, I do not want to go through this he'll for a girl that doesn't. She is not in therapy, but I talked to her about it. At first she said yes, but when the time got near she freaked out and changed get mind.
  #5  
Old Dec 09, 2012, 10:11 PM
godric godric is offline
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No she is not in therapy. We were going to go, but when the time came she freaked out and change her mind.
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