[janice2]

Ive been in a relationship for 2 years. When we started dating he had just separated from his wife. Thier finally divorced but still fighting over the kids. The much younger x is saying he abused the children, its awful!
He hasnt seen them in months but when he did have them I was always there. I played with them, took them to the park, bathed them and puttem to bed. I lovem like thier my own and theres no way I could have missed something like that right! I made this man my life but I dont know what to think anymore.

[Leed]

In what way did the wife say the children were abused? Did she say they were beaten or sexually abused? You couldn't tell by just having them for a couple of weekends. Their wounds do heal of it's physical abuse -- and if it's sexual abuse, they're certainly not going to TELL you!

So how do you know it isn't true? Did you ask them? You can't tell by looking them over. Abusers are very clever and they don't leave many signs. About the only way you're going to find out is to ask. But you have to be careful how you word it too. You don't want to scare the kids, and also children TELL on adults! They will tell their Mom and Dad what you asked them. So be careful how you word it.

If they tell you they HAVE been abused, let their mother know ASAP and let her make the decision as to what to do.

I wish you the very best. Take care and God bless. Hugs, Lee

[NishQuiche92]

Make sure you know what kind of abuse. It's sometimes easy to hide things from the ones we love because they only want to see the good in us. Abuse is serious though...if you truly think it's just her being spiteful then go on ahead and keep supporting him getting the kids, but if you think there could be more too it, then definitely look into it...see if you can talk to the kids by themselves and see what they will tell you.

Originally Posted by NishQuiche92

.. but if you think there could be more too it, then definitely look into it...see if you can talk to the kids by themselves and see what they will tell you.

I think I would even go further in saying for the sake of the kids, err on the side of caution and find out more. Either way you'll win. If he's not an abuser, you'll be happy to be confirmed of that. If he is, you'll save yourself the grief of finding out later.