[boehmsarah559]

Well there are a lot of relationship issues but I will start with one topic my mom. I have two parents who I love so vary much but one thing that hurts is my mother and I do not have a relationship. I have tried to be close to her but I honestly don't feel she cares. My mom has always told me how my thoughts and feelings don't matter. I was always a burden to her, as long as I was no where near her and basically out of her hair she loved me just fine. Growing up I thought mom's actually liked it when their children talked about going to college, moving out you know all that good stuff but my mom always told me that it was too stressful to talk about and always found away to discourage me. When I was sad she got mad because she had her own problems. I have been molested one time, attempted rape once, and raped once. When I was alittle girl maybe just entered kindergarten, my cousin touch me and talked dirty so I knew it was wrong, I told my mom she didn't believe me and told me he was just playing around, he was 16 I think and I was maybe 5. In high school a boy on the bus touched me between the legs and when I asked him to stop he got mad, and he was always weird with me, so I reported him to the cops because no matter what I told my mom she never believed me, when the cop called her she said it was probably my fault I was 14 he was 20 and not even suppose to be on the bus. My cousin tried to rape me when I was 14 or 15, he was twice my age, I chose to just keep that too myself. In 2010 I was raped by someone I thought was my friend. I decided to keep that too myself. I never had a great experience going to school growing up because I never had friends and always was being teased or harassed, my mom always told me I was just feeling sorry for myself so I started to actually believe I wasn't worth much. Too this day my mom and I can not talk about anything serious. I have a lot of family issues and lately have been thinking about just leaving everyone behind and moving on, I can call or visit them every once in a while. Right now I only go to my parents home maybe once or twice a week and limit my time to a hour or two depending on how everyone is doing. I want them to know I love them so I do at least make an appearance. I think my mom views me as a mistake and the reason why she is miserable. Everyone says she loves me but honestly I do not feel her love and only feel like she gave birth too me raised me but never cared about me like a mother should. I forgive her but it hurts and has really affected me a long time and there is no one to talk too about it.

[Leed]

Hi Sweetie ! I'm so very sorry your relationship with your Mom isn't very good. And I'm SURE it's not because your Mom doesn't love you -- I'm sure it's more that she's been pre-occupied, but I'm not excusing her behavior. Mothers SHOULD show their children more love and attention than you got. My mother was like yours -- I got NO attention whatsoever. I could be on fire, and she'd just tell me to go take a shower.

And I know this lack of attention follows you well into your older years. Have you have sat down with your mother and tried to talk this out? Why not ask her to sit down with you and have a chat? Perhaps you could get this settled just by having a talk. But if you feel you can't ask her, then I feel you should see a therapist. Therapy has don't wonders for me and my issues with my mother. Talk with your medical doctor and get a referral to a good therapist -- your doctor will know the name of a good one, and will set up an appointment for you. The sooner you get in the better.

I wish you the very best. Please let us know how things work out, ok? I'd really like to know. God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

[shezbut]

I am sorry that you have sufferred such horrible incidents as a young child and as a teenager. Having to keep those things inside, to yourself, eats away at self-esteem. I certainly would advise you to seek the help of a therapist ~ to gain perspective, and hopefully gather the strength that you need to sit down with your mom & tell her about how these events hurt you deeply.

I hope that your mom is able is to accept and admit to the mistakes that she made in raising you. You're in my thoughts!