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Old Nov 12, 2012, 12:59 AM
Torani Torani is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2012
Posts: 10
I am looking for advice... I feel as if I am with a very critical partner but is that true or just my wrong perception.

The other day he yelled at me for 15 minutes in the driveway because I got rear-ended by another person. The damage to my car, at least at 7 am in the morning still dark outside, appeared to be so minor that i did not get their insurance information and it seemed like no big deal to me. But when I got home i noticed my bumper was a little crooked.

My boyfriend whom I told about the accident, spent 15 minutes yelling at me, called me stupid for not getting the insurance information and for not noticing the damage at the time of the accident.

Its not his car, he didnt pay for it, he doesnt co-own it and it will only affect ME financially... if i am not worried about it then why on earth would he be so mad at me for this? what am i missing....

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  #2  
Old Nov 12, 2012, 05:50 AM
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Leed Leed is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 6,543
Is your state a No=Fault state with insurance? What is your deductible? Chances are if the bumper is just crooked, they can fix that and the cost won't be as high as your deductible, BUT if they can''t fix it you'll need a new bumper and that's expensive! You really should have gotten the other person's insurance info cause it WAS their fault. Anytime someone hits you in the rear end, it's THEIR fault (generally). And you should have gotten a police report if it was on public roads cause the insurance company will ask for it.

But, if this is an old car and you're not going to get it fixed, I guess I wouldn't worry about it EXCEPT it would bother me that the idiot that hit me wouldn't get a ticket!!

Seems like your boyfriend was a bit hyper about this since it was YOUR car, and you didn't seem to mind too much. As long as you know what you SHOULD do in case of an accident but you didn't think it was worth it, then I don't see what his problem was. It's YOUR car, and it's not costing HIM anything. He sure let his blood pressure go sky high!!! He shouldn't have berated you and called you names -- that's NEVER okay!!! I dont' care WHAT the issue is. He was wrong for that. Hugs, Lee
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Thanks for this!
Torani
  #3  
Old Nov 12, 2012, 07:08 AM
anonymous82113
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Has he yelled at you before? Or put you down? If so, I think he's got some anger issues. Nobody should talk to you that way, doesn't really matter what the situation is tbh. Its about respect for you.
There are ways to communicate anger, disappointment or whatever without yelling 15 mins straight. I hope he apologised to you later as I think you're due one. He could've been having a really bad day, or something else is stressing him out, but he still shouldn't take it out on you. (My partner gets really snippy and short tempered with me when he's unhappy about something else, which I pretty much let go until later on when I tell him that its really not on).
Perhaps if you can, try talking to him later when all is calm, and see if there's a problem. Oh, and if I were in your shoes, I'd tell him that the way he talked to you was unacceptable.
Thanks for this!
Torani
  #4  
Old Nov 12, 2012, 08:12 AM
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missbelle missbelle is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2010
Location: Fairfax, Va.
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Maybe he was just frightened that you might have really been hurt and took out his fear by yelling since he could not yell at the driver

...but...if this is the way he reacts other times it borders on abuse not just being critical
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Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
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Thanks for this!
Torani
  #5  
Old Nov 12, 2012, 09:28 PM
Torani Torani is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2012
Posts: 10
Thanks for all the input. Much appreciated and i feel more comfortable about it..
Because of my past its sometimes difficult for me to know what is appropriate/normal behavior... especially in my relationships.
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