[RJ78]

Hey everyone,

I've been feeling anxious the past few days about a potential new relationship I've entered into. I'm mostly just worried about screwing it up, becoming too needy or insecure, even though this hasn't always happened to me.

My last relationship came to a difficult end, and I'm still processing this months later. Is there anyone out there who's in a similar situation - getting into a new-ish relationship and/or dating and feeling anxious/nervous about not being well enough to (ever) be in a relationship, even though you know rationally you're a good partner? If so, I'd love for you to reply or message me so we could support each other.

Thanks,

RJ

[Leed]

I'm not sure if I'm a good example, but after I got divorced, my self esteem was in the pits. My ex had always told me I was stupid, didn't know anything and never would, etc. So I didn't feel "good enough" for anyone. But it wasn't long after the final divorce decree that I met someone and my heart started fluttering! I was REALLY interested in this guy, but didn't have enough self-esteem to even THINK he could be interested in me. If wasn't too long tho before he showed interest too, and lo and behold we started dating. While I had some insecurities and fears, I tried to keep a handle on them. We dated for several years, and finally got married!!

So just try not to let your insecurities get the better of you. If you think you're a good partner, then you probably ARE. DON'T even think about past relationships because they have nothing to do with this one -- your new partner is a completely different person than your other one. So this relationship is totally different. Don't compare it to the other one.

I hope you two work out. If you don't, it's no disaster. It's just a learning experience. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[RJ78]

Thanks Lee,

That's so kind. I'm working on it, but it's tough. I had a handle on my anxiety there for a few weeks, but I'm just afraid it's all going to boil over again. In fact, that idea terrifies me, even though it would just pass. Argh, damn illness.

RJ

[hamster-bamster]

Treat your last r/s as an aberration - do not extrapolate from it. What happened in that last r/s is NOT bound to happen again because there is no pattern - it was just an aberration, an outlier, in the statistical sense. You ARE a good partner, your SO is lucky to have you, you have nothing to worry about - congratulations!

[RJ78]

Thanks Hamster,

I really took a hard hit today from my anxiety, all the worrying took its toll and I broke down a couple times at work, which really sucks. I'm a bit better tonight, so I'm hoping to sleep well.

Again, thanks for the support!

RJ

[hamster-bamster]

All anxiety is helped by cardio exercise, so that is something that can always be used to your benefit.

[RJ78]

Been spinning a lot Hamster, it does help with anxiety, I have little doubt about that. Problem is, I can't spin 10 hours a day!

Thanks for the support

RJ